But where was Guillermo?! This week on season 19 of ABC’s The Bachelor, late-night host Jimmy Kimmel commandeered the show and lent his signature touch of sarcasm to the series’ tried-and-true format. “I specialize in making people uncomfortable,” he deadpans.
Greeting the Bachelorettes as “sister wives,” Kimmel implements an “amazing jar,” to be filled with a dollar for every usage of the word “amazing.” After volunteering to “make love” to all the hopeful ladies, he organizes all the episode’s dates — including an ever-so-romantic trip to a wholesale shopping store.
First One-on-One Date: Cleanup in Aisle Five
Every season of The Bachelor or Bachelorette seems to feature progressively more and more extravagant dates for its contestants. Lavish doesn’t seem to be the case when it comes to Kimmel’s idea of planning, however, as he sends Chris Soules and Kaitlyn, the 29-year-old dance instructor, on a Costco trip to pick up his “groceries.”
After purchasing an absurd amount of ketchup, Kaitlyn and Chris are tasked with cooking a meal for the mayo-loving Kimmel.
“I don’t think there is anything more romantic than cooking dinner together,” says Kaitlyn. Kimmel then poses the ultimate question — would Kaitlyn be upset to watch Chris with other women during the Fantasy Suite episodes, if she ends up being his final pick?
“You can’t take out a car without test driving it,” quips firecracker Kaitlyn, ultimately landing her the rose.
Group Date: Old MacDonald Had a Farm
Chris’ farming background continues to color the group date themes, and Britt, Jillian, Becca, Tracy, Mackenzie, Kelsey, Amber, Ashley S. (who is decidedly tame this episode), Juelia, Samantha, Nikki, and Carly join him for an obstacle course of the livestock proportion. The aptly titled Hoedown Throwdown sees the girls shucking corn, milking goats and wrestling pigs, all for the chance to pose for an American Gothic photo remake with Prince Farming.
Cruise ship singer Carly eventually takes home the win but not without a challenge from the insanely athletic Jillian, whose leap over the pig pen prompts a slow-mo repeat (and in booty shorts, none the less).
The ensuing cocktail party shows Chris is taking some cues from Season 18’s Juan Pablo Galavis — he doesn’t let a girl go unkissed. While Carly’s just happy to swap spit with the Bachelor for the first time, Mackenzie is offended by the makeout party — she thought their kiss was special.
Chris ends up giving the rose to the one girl who resists his charms — Becca. The 25-year-old chiropractic assistant doesn’t want to rush the relationship, leaving all the kissing to the other ladies.
Second One-on-One Date: Rule #76
After Chris mentions he’s looking for spontaneity in a girl, his one-on-one date Whitney, the fertility nurse, suggests they crash a suspiciously close-by wedding. “I’m gonna go and catch that damn bouquet,” the bubbly blonde tells Chris (spoiler alert: she doesn’t catch it).
Armed with a back story about their “engagement,” and a wedding gift, Whitney and Chris chat it up with the maid of honor before hitting the dance floor with the bride and groom. “Everything about you, the way you carry yourself, I mean this was incredible, you made this day beautiful and I’m grateful,” Chris tells a blushing Whitney as he awards her the rose. Mazel tov to Nick and Shannon!
The Cocktail Party and Rose Ceremony: Splish Splash
After a quick shower sesh with his new partner in crime Kimmel, Chris joins the bikini-clad women for a pool party in lieu of the typical, formal cocktail party.
Juelia takes the opportunity to finally share with Chris the devastating truth about the death of her husband, and the Iowa native is nothing but supportive. Despite the unimaginable trauma Juelia has experienced, she insists she still feels “blessed in a lot of ways,” which gains her Chris’ respect and admiration.
From Britt and Ashley I., to a bedroom makeout with Jade, the Bachelor seems to be focusing less on the emotional and more on the physical at this point.
When it comes time for the rose ceremony, Kimmel reminds Chris that his public speaking skills are subpar — “Whatever you do, don’t be yourself. Be someone that gives better speeches.” Jade, Samantha, Juelia, Mackenzie, Kelsey, Britt, Megan, Carly, Ashley S., Nikki, Jillian, and Ashley I. walk away with roses, while Trina, Tracy, and Amber are eliminated from the competition.
Tell Us: Who do you think will win Chris Soules’ heart?
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