Kelsey, Kelsey, Kelsey. She makes Us long for the days of Ashley S.! After last week’s “cliffhanger” finale, which left guidance counselor Kelsey surrounded by EMTs on the hotel floor, we rejoin Chris Soules and the ladies right before the rose ceremony for this season of The Bachelor‘s sixth installment.
The Bachelorettes are clear skeptics of Kelsey’s supposed “panic attack,” which she uses as a way to capture Chris’ undivided attention one last time before the eliminations. Kelsey even remarks to the medic, “I’m gonna get a rose tonight, for sure, just give me the bunch.” The other women have had it with Kelsey’s attempts to capture Chris’ attention — but her dastardly plan works. Kelsey narrowly walks away with a rose, while Mackenzie and Samantha go home.
One-on-One Date: Blazing Saddles
After arriving in South Dakota (which is in the U.S., just for reference, Megan), Becca is awarded the first one-on-one date. Becca, one of the few girls that hasn’t been on the receiving end of Chris’ kisses, is nervous that her feelings aren’t reciprocated — but Chris is definitely feeling a connection on their horseback riding adventure. “I think this is the most honest, real date I’ve been on,” he says before awarding her the rose — and her much anticipated first kiss (look away, dad!).
Back at the Hotel: Isn’t Her Story Amazing!?
Confrontation time! Whitney and the other women decide it’s time to address Kelsey’s behavior — especially that “I’m getting a rose for sure” quip from when she “passed out.” The conversation leads to a slew of Kelsey-isms, including: “I get [their jealousy], I’m blessed with eloquence… I’m so smart.”
Group Date: Runaway Potential-Bride
Kaitlyn, Megan, Carly, Britt, Whitney, and Jade are tasked with writing an original country song for their prince — with the help of country legends Big & Rich! While cruise ship singer Carly feels confident, Chris spends most of the afternoon canoodling with frontrunner Britt. “It’s hard to write a love song about anybody, when he’s clearly really into somebody else,” remarks Kaitlyn. Despite valiant efforts from all the girls, including a rap from Kaitlyn, Chris only has eyes for Britt. And they, quite literally, run off into the sunset together — and end up onstage at a Big & Rich concert. Chris gives her the rose in front of the entire audience. Guess it pays off when you “Ride a Farmer.”
Two-on-One Date: Immeasurable Blessings
Ahh, the dreaded two-on-one date. On the chopping block this week are Kelsey and Ashley I. “I’m the first girl in Bachelor history that’s been happy about getting the two on one… i’m gonna kick some Kelsey ass,” Ashley says, grinning.
Needy Ashley I. immediately uses her solo time with Chris to tell him about the tension Kelsey is causing in the house, which prompts him to in turn confront Kelsey about how she’s “gelling” with the other women. Kelsey delivers a creepy line about being prepared to be a wife because she’s already been one.
The date turns into a he-said, she said between the two women and our clueless farmer, and Ashley I. gets sent packing. “The world I live in, I don’t know that you’d be happy. I don’t feel like I could give you the lifestyle that you really want,” Chris tells her. Guess all that Kardashian talk came back to bite her.
But wait! Chris isn’t done yet — crazy Kelsey is getting the boot as well. “My story is amazing, it is tragic and it is inspiring, and I’m immeasurably blessed,” Kelsey snarls as she boards her helicopter home. Back at the house, the remaining women raise a glass to being “immeasurably blessed.” Bye, Kelsey, enjoy your Bachelor villain infamy.