Everything Bachelorette Gabby Windey Has Said About Her Estranged Relationship With Her Mother

Credit: ABC/Craig Sjodin; Inset Courtesy of Rosemary Windey/Instagram

Everything Bachelorette Gabby Windey Has Said About Her Estranged Relationship With Her Mother

Bachelorette Gabby Windey has been candid about how her estranged relationship with her mom affected her journey to find The One, opening up to her suitors about her childhood and lack of love from her mom, Rosemary. “It all kind of stems from not having a ton of security from my mom,” the former Denver Broncos cheerleader told Clayton Echard on season 26 of The Bachelor, which aired earlier this year. “As kids, she was really physically affectionate, and then she would flip and kind of withhold your love. She would make you think that because of what you’re doing, she would withhold her attention very clearly. … We don’t really have a relationship now.” After Clayton ended things with Gabby and Rachel Recchia because he still had feelings for Susie Evans on his season, ABC named the ICU nurse and the flight instructor co-leads for season 19 of The Bachelorette. Gabby’s mother was a topic of conversation from the beginning of the season. During a one-on-one date with Nate Mitchell, Gabby got emotional hearing about the single father’s bond with his daughter. [sendtonews type="float" key="lHq8CkOKYu-2832255-14453"] "I started to think, 'Am I there yet? Can I be a mother? Is this the life I want?' But I don't have to make that decision right now,” she told the cameras on a July 2022 episode. Gabby later told Nate: “Listening to you speak about your daughter, watching you be able to give this unconditional love that's going to go with her forever is, like, really the best thing I could ask for in a partner." During her second one-on-one date of the season, Erich Schwer told Gabby that he wanted a relationship like his parents' marriage, referring to them as “soulmates” and “the best team I've ever seen.” Gabby subsequently told him about her mother, noting, “I’m reserved to share that with people because I’ve been hurt so many times by a parent. … My mom, we’re estranged. I don’t have a relationship with her.” The emotional toll of the conversation prompted her to walk away. "A big part of me worries and is really scared that people aren't going to be able to resonate with me and when we sat down initially and talked, I was really so scared," Gabby said. "This is a huge honor and I don't want to f—k it up. I'm not polished. I'm not like anyone they've seen in the past. I'm not like Rachel." The Bachelorette airs on ABC Mondays at 8 p.m. ET. Scroll through for more from Gabby about her mother:

Credit: ABC/Craig Sjodin

Why Gabby Is Opening Up

“You get a limited amount of time with these guys. So on our one-on-ones is where you really have to get down to the nitty gritty so they can understand who you are, how you're gonna be in a relationship. And, of course, our parents really influence who we are as adults and how we act in relationships and our attachment styles and things like that,” Gabby told Us on August 2. “I have done a lot of work around my childhood, and sometimes it's hard feeling the feeling of being loved because it applies to a romantic relationship, you know? It’s hard because it's almost like, ‘Gosh, I have to get everything out right now.’ But also, I need these men to really know who I am and understand why I am the way that I am.”

Credit: ABC/Craig Sjodin; Inset Courtesy of Rosemary Windey/Instagram

Has Gabby Heard From Her Mom?

“I really haven’t,” Gabby told Us on August 2. “But that's OK.”

Credit: ABC/Gizelle Hernandez

Childhood Trauma

“My mom and I are estranged. She didn’t have the capacity to kind of, like, love me as a kid. And she was, like, really quick to take away love. Like, ‘Oh, if you don’t do this and that, you’ll have to go live with your dad,’” Gabby told Jason on the August 1 episode. “And it’s like, I don’t ever want to lose my mom. That was so scary for me. And then when I left for college, she washed her hands of me and didn’t want anything to do with me. But through a ton of therapy, I’ve kind of had to learn how — really how to allow people to love me because I never had an example of receiving it as a child. I think the hardest part is, like, I love her so much, but you can’t always — she just can’t be in my life. She just doesn’t have the tools to love me back.”

Gabby added that she has “so much anxiety” from the situation but has “built a ton of humor” and has “a lot of grace for other people."

“It’s really hard with dating and I have a lot of fears, honestly,” she said.

Credit: Courtesy of Gabby Windey/Instagram

Close With Her Dad

“[My dad] always had a huge presence in my life. I’m not really close with my mom,” Gabby told Nate during the July 18 episode. “I think that is a lot of the reason I am who I am today."

Credit: ABC/Craig Sjodin

A Mother’s Love

"I'll maybe never know what it's like to have a mother's love and it's something that's hard and I'll miss," Gabby told Erich July 25 episode.

Credit: ABC/Craig Sjodin

‘Too Broken’

"I can’t explain what it’s like to have a mom that doesn’t love you … Am I too broken for anyone to love?" Gabby asked a producer on the July 25 episode. "I’m terrified. What if Erich decides I’m not for him? I’m overwhelmed. What if I can’t do it? People want to see the Rachels because she’s easier. I’m too complicated. I’m messy."

She added: “I feel like I’m incredibly different than other women who’ve walked in my shoes. I don’t always want to explain my situation to people. It’s really, really hard."

Credit: ABC/Craig Sjodin

‘Withhold Her Love’

“As a kid, she was really physically affectionate, and then she would, like, flip and kind of withhold her love,” Gabby told Clayton on The Bachelor. “I was just like, ‘If my mom could stop loving me, why can’t anyone else?’”