Big Brother 23’s Derek Xiao and Claire Rehfuss Are Dating: ‘We Really Connected in the Jury House’

Credit: Erik Johnson for E-Studios

New Romance

Us Weekly: So how did this happen? Tell me everything! Who made the first move?

Derek Xiao: Claire, who did make the first move?

Claire Rehfuss: I would say that it was me. Would you disagree with that? 

DX: No. No. I thought you were about to disagree with yourself. It definitely was you (laughs).

CR: I would say it was definitely me. I feel like we just really connected in the jury house more so than … In the game, nothing ever happened. There wasn't any secret backroom kisses or anything like that. It just naturally occurred in the jury house. I would say I asked what would happen with this relationship. Would we stay friends? Would we potentially try to be something more? I think that we both just really felt the chemistry once we got to the jury house and could really connect with each other. We would stay up late talking every single night and we just really developed a bond. 

DX: Yeah, I say that is exactly how I felt. I mean, you can probably tell from the show, me and Claire had a really great friendship inside the house. I know, at least for me, I always felt like she was someone I could go to at any point in the game if I ever felt stressed out. I always felt like I could talk to Claire and step away from the game and just laugh and have fun. But being inside that house, you really, at least for me, I just did not think about a showmance or anything like that because your head is so caught up in the game itself. And then I go to jury, and Claire shows up, and I remember the first or second night that she was there, we stayed up all night just talking until 5:00 a.m. That happened every single night for the first, like, five days. That's when I started really thinking like, “Wait a second, why didn't this happen in the house? There's such a strong connection and chemistry between us.” So I think that was the beginning of us thinking about what this could be. 

Us: Were you trying to keep it on the DL or were the other jury members catching on to what was happening? 

DX: It was the house managers. It was the sequester house managers who look after us. They were the ones that we had to sneak around because they don't like when you hang out in private by yourself, because you might be having game talks. So, me and Claire would have to find different hiding spots. We weren't even trying to talk game. We literally wanted to talk to each other and we’d have to sneak around. The other houseguests were helpful, I think. 

CR: The other houseguests were very aware of what was happening. Me and Alyssa were roommates in jury. She was like my confidante. Everyone else was also helping us try to get around the jury house managers. So everyone in the jury house basically knew what was happening. It wasn't like a dirty little secret in the boat house or anything. It was very fun. 

Us: So you guys were just getting to know each other more away from the cameras?

DX: Yeah. I think there's a lot of stuff that you don't talk about inside the house just because you know that you're being filmed and you'd just be a lot more open with each other. And we would just talk about everything in our lives. Literally it’s, like, 5:00 a.m. every night and we just got even closer than we were in the house. 

CR: Yeah, in the house, you're still focused about the game. You're still kind of policing what are you saying. Derek was definitely someone I would go to destress about the game. You know, he would be someone I would try to find in the house if I just wanted to laugh. And it was like that in jury house too. If I just wanted to laugh.

DX: Laugh with me or laugh at me?

CR: Laugh with you! I would have other people I'd go and laugh at.

DX: I want names.

CR: Maybe after the call (laughs). But yeah, once you get to jury house, you can really relax and really be yourself. And I know, I was a live feeder – live feeders think that they see everything and they really know us. But once you're off camera, that's when you really, really get to know who a person is and you can really be vulnerable and you can really be open and really talk about a lot of things from your life. So being able to be open and vulnerable and honest like that, I think that really brought me and Derek a lot closer. 

Credit: Erik Johnson for E-Studios

Not Just a Showmance

Us: How did your family and friends react?

CR: My friends and family do definitely know. That’s one of the first things I told them. Because by the time we left L.A., me and Derek were officially dating. And so I had given them the scoop and my parents were excited. I mean, who doesn't love Derek X? Like they were like, “We know him. We can't wait. We’re so excited to meet him.”

DX: You’re setting the bar way too high. You gotta bring it down five notches.

CR: OK, OK, OK. They were so-so.

DX: There we go. He just kind of opened the bathroom for people, like, blew a horn, didn't really do much. 

CR: He's fantastic at instruments. He looks good in green slime. Like, how could you not? But I think that some of my friends are definitely surprised. Like, I don't think you've really got to see how tight we were in the house if you just watched the show. But you know, not all my friends were that surprised. Some of them were like, “We definitely saw that you had a connection with him.” When you're really just looking at one person, then you can see their story if you're just watching the feeds. So definitely a little bit of surprise, but everyone's really, really excited and very supportive. 

DX: Yeah. I would say they were surprised at first, but then it made sense. Everyone immediately saw why I wanted to be with Claire because they saw the connection that we had in the house and they were like, it just completely makes sense. 

Credit: Erik Johnson for E-Studios

Sexy Side

Us: Derek, you mentioned your “type” in the house and it seemed to describe Claire exactly. Did you realize that?

DX: I definitely liked Claire in the house. I knew that Claire was just my type. I knew that from week one that Claire was my type, but I don't know. I guess I just never let myself explore that beyond just a friendship. I mean, you saw what happened to Alyssa and Christian week one. For me, despite getting taken out very early on, I did want to win that game (laughs). So I think a lot of my focus went into like, how do I win this game? I knew that if I let myself, I would fall for Claire in the house. 

CR: Yeah. I think both of us had like a little bit of a crush, or at least saw maybe there's some potential there, pretty early on in the game. But then you just get wrapped up in the game and you just don't think about it anymore. You just are so focused on trying to win the money. And you're not exploring it. You're not really thinking, “Oh, what if this?'"

Us: Big Brother showmances tend to either fizzle out or really go the distance. You started your romance off camera. Are you happy it happened that way and not in the house? 

CR: I'm really, really happy that we went about it that way. First off, our lives just do mesh really, really well. And I am really glad that it started outside of the house. I think there are some nights where Derek and I would be talking and we'd be like, “How did Christian and Alyssa have these conversations in the house?” Because, like, if you really want to have difficult conversations about a relationship, which everyone has to have, when you're starting our relationship, it's a lot of pressure to try to have that on camera and to be really vulnerable and to be really open. And you don't know, you know, it would be a whole other thing if you're worrying, how are people going to perceive this? I just think that that would have really limited our longevity and how real we can be from the very start of our relationship. So I'm, I'm really, really happy that it didn't happen in the house and that we were able to really like start a relationship off camera.

DX: 100 percent. I completely agree with Claire. I think for relationships to really flourish, you just have to be vulnerable with each other. And that is just a harder thing to do, if in the back of your mind, you're also thinking about how am I being perceived by America when I say these things. So it's great to just be completely vulnerable to each other and be able to express everything without concerns about anyone else listening into the conversation. 

Credit: Erik Johnson for E-Studios

Lots of Laughs

Us: What do you like or admire most about the other?

DX: I love that we're both 6 feet tall. Let's put Claire on the spot. Claire, what do you like about me? 

CR: I think what I really like about Derek is just genuinely his humor. We do just really make each other laugh. But then, also, I think Derek has one of the biggest hearts out of anyone that I've ever met. He just always sees the good in any situation. He sees the good in every single person. And he's just so kindhearted. He just has so much love to give and takes love so well. I think that that is just unendingly attractive in a person. Looks will fade, but kindness and warmth, and being genuinely yourself will always be there. Plus, you know, he is good-looking.

DX: Let’s see, 6 feet tall, got webbed feet. She's a child of God (laughs). No, Claire’s sense of humor is fantastic. I think she never fails to put a smile on my face. She is one of the most fun-loving people that I've ever met. She has this saying, “Remember the rule. Have fun.” And that is one of my favorite sayings I learned in the house. She gave me a bracelet that has it and I wear it every single day. She also has an incredibly kind heart. The love that she showed for everyone in the house was completely genuine. She's obviously incredibly intelligent when she's not lying about her job. So creative, just all the great things, I feel like Claire embodies.

Credit: Erik Johnson for E-Studios

One Last Shot

Us: Derek, you and Hannah seem to have a great friendship. Julie Chen even asked about a possible romance in your eviction interview. Is there any awkwardness there?

DX: Me and Claire actually didn't get together until Hannah came and we were able to talk to her about this. When Hannah came, I think me and Hannah actually talked first. We were just on the same page that our relationship was better off as just friends. She is someone that I want to keep in my life and I'm someone that she wants to keep in her life, just purely at a friendship level. It was just very platonic between us. But, in terms of awkwardness, I'd say zero to none, for all three of us. I don't want to speak for everyone, but we've had open conversations with all three of us at the same time. She had a one-on-one with me in jury and then a one-on-one with Claire. She was running her own little HOH…

Us: Like a little Kyland [Young] one-one-one.

DX: It really was the Kyland one-on-one moment. She sent Claire to pull me up to the master bedroom. It really was a kind of one-on-one moment. But yeah, things are great. I think me and Hannah still have a fantastic relationship. We joke around all the time and still have a ton of fun together. 

CR: Yeah, I don't think that there's any awkwardness between us and Hannah. Hannah is just someone that will also be so important in my life. She was my little sister in the house and she's still my little sister. She's still my best friend. I think she is aware of how important we are to each other, and then we are also individually to her. There's really no ill will there at all. She just is an amazing person and I adore her. 

Us: I guess I should ask about Travis [Long] too. Claire, are you OK with this showmance? Do you support it?

CR: You know, the first conversation I basically had with Derek, I think Travis was there. So they've always been a package deal in my mind. I'm in support of it. I'm going to have to learn how to surf if I want to keep up with these, you know, these bros. But, I'm in support of it. I love it. 

DX: Learn the Shaka.

CR: Yeah, learn the Shaka. You know, the Hawaii slang.

DX: You’re never going to pick that up (laughs).

CR: No, I don't think I will. I'm fortunate that I can travel with my work. Being able to just figure things out week by week of where should we be. As long as we're together, I'm happy.