Clayton Echard Gets Candid About Body Dysmorphia, Almost Quitting ‘The Bachelorette,’ How He Approaches Dating Different Post-Bachelor and More

Credit: Michael Owen Baker/AP/Shutterstock

Clayton Echard Gets Candid About Body Dysmorphia, Almost Quitting ‘The Bachelorette,’ How He Approaches Dating Different Post-Bachelor and More

Fans who tuned into season 26 of The Bachelor didn't know the half of Clayton Echard’s "journey" — until now. “I actually love the word journey, so don't worry about giving me PTSD,” the 180 Degrees: On Mental Health, Mindfulness, and Unlocking Self-Belief author, 29, exclusively joked on Us Weekly’s “Here for the Right Reasons” podcast about the popular Bachelor word. “But journey just is the best word for it. There is no other word. Experience sounds temporary. It sounds more manufactured to me. Journey encapsulates the highs and the lows and everything in between. It's a process. It's a long marathon, but it’s not a race.” Beginning with insecurities in middle school and high school that followed him into his time within Bachelor Nation, Clayton writes about his battles with body dysmorphia and depression in his new book. “I didn't even know really what I was experiencing. I just had some extreme fixation on me,” he told Us of his body image struggles. “It’s become really easy for me to speak about. I've been vocal well before the show about it. I started having these conversations in college and I talk about it in the book, but I opened up to the wrong people and they used it against me. They weaponized my body image issues. They call me 'bad body Ech.' That was my nickname by some of my teammates in college because they knew that I didn't like my body. … I would laugh it off, but in reality, they knew it bothered me. That's the thing where I try to tell people — when you open up to the wrong people, it will hurt you. But when you open up to the right people, it'll help you tremendously.” Viewers were introduced to Clayton when ABC announced he was a contestant on Michelle Young’s season of The Bachelorette — and the season 26 lead before the show even premiered in fall 2022. “They showed me at the beginning [of Michelle’s season] and they showed me at episode 6 when I get sent home or whatever it was. Everyone's like, ‘That's it? You just force-fed us on that last episode. He got a letter from the kids [and] he cried once and now he's the Bachelor?’ Why is he more deserving than these other men?’ And I got that,” he recalled. “At the same time, though, my perspective was like, ‘Well I am a good guy.’ Do I think I deserve it more than these other dudes? Absolutely not. But again, that's not my decision. I was just asked, so I just accepted it. But then I found out very quickly that people put me up here as far as what they wanted me to be or what they expected out of me.” [jwplayer WHntrUT9-l3ahXupL] During his season of The Bachelor, Clayton came under fire from fans — ​and his finalists — when he “fell in love” with Rachel Recchia, Gabby Windey and Susie Evans. When Susie found out that he had slept with Rachel and Gabby, she told the Missouri native that she couldn’t move forward with the process. “I don’t know if I've ever shared this, but it just goes to show you how off my thinking became as the Bachelor. I remember there was a point where I was looking at one of the women on a date and I was just, like, so happy. And I was like, ‘I don't want this to end. … I want this experience to last forever,’” Clayton told Us. “Because I was like, ‘I want her to be in my life, but then I want her to be in my life. This is so incredible. I've never been happier. I've never felt so much love. I've never felt so valued.’ And then all of a sudden, like, the next thought came in like, ‘What are you thinking, dude? There's three women here, you have to end this. This is not forever.’ And that's when toward the end of the show, I freaked out and at one point I cried on camera, and I realized I'm gonna hurt someone. [But I’d] already taken it too far. I poured my entire heart into all this. … I've probably went farther than I should have, but I got lost in the moment.” In the end, Gabby and Rachel agreed to forgive Clayton — until he realized he had the strongest feelings for Susie. The pilot and the nurse went on to be co-Bachelorettes for season 19 and Clayton and Susie dated for several months. They announced their split in September 2022. Scroll through for more from Clayton:

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The Goal of His Book

“I wrote the book to help individuals that have self-doubt and want to get to a place of self-confidence,” he explained. “What I share in the stories or throughout the book is how I was able to start establishing self-belief. How I was able to find hope in a dark area where it seemed like there was no light to be found. That became the why. I remember still how I felt as a seventh grader when I first started struggling with my body image issues and just overall mental health. I still sometimes look in the mirror and see that kid. I still have to remind myself that your belief in yourself is who you will be. You can actively choose [confidence]. It's easier said than done. So very tough.”

Credit: ABC/Craig Sjodin

Clayton Almost Quit ‘The Bachelorette’

“I was one of the quietest dudes. I barely spoke,” Clayton recalled of night one of Michelle's season. “I was too fearful of saying something dumb. I didn't want to bring negativity my way. And so I literally just sat back and I was like, ‘I am gonna be as cautious as possible because I don't want to shoot my mouth off and all of a sudden be the center focus of some drama’ Night one, I almost left six times more so because I felt outta place. Guys [were] coming down the steps for their intros and what they were wearing and they seemed so comfortable acting ridiculous. … I thought, ‘These guys are so comfortable in their own skin and I'm not, so how can I be here amongst these men?’”

Clayton said he can recall “six moments where I almost went up to the producer and was like, ‘Can I go home?’”

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Being Declared the ‘Underdog’ Bachelor

The athlete struggled after it was revealed he was the season 26 lead before fans even met him on Michelle’s season, with many viewers waiting for some big reveal about why he was given the opportunity as they watched the teacher’s season.

“I felt every bit of those high expectations,” Clayton told Us. “And it didn't help when my tagline came out and I was the underdog. I didn't pick that. I was like, ‘Why am I the underdog?’ I mean, in my own life, knowing my entire life story, I always did feel like the underdog. I used to be in everyone's shadows. … But then everyone else [who didn’t know me] was like, ‘This dude is a stereotypical white dude, 6’5, you know, former sales rep, [football player], probably gets all these women. He's not an underdog at all.’ And then it hit me, ‘Oh, nobody else knows my past. So they're only judging me off of this exact moment. I have to live up to this expectation now.’”

Credit: ABC/Craig Sjodin

How Susie Saw ‘The Bachelor’ Differently Than Clayton

The former lead noted that Susie “never allowed herself to, like, be in that world” of The Bachelor, which explains why she was not OK with Clayton being intimate with other women.

“Her mindset was always real world. … So there's a perfect example of somebody that legitimately was just being genuine and didn't allow that Bachelor world to consume her. She was like, ‘I’m expecting real-world expectations here,’” he explained, noting that “obviously” there was “some wiggle room” as she wouldn’t want a boyfriend kissing another girl outside of the reality show. “People were like, ‘Oh, she's calculated,’ when in reality she just had hard and set rules that she was like, ‘I cannot look past this and I would never look past it no matter what environment we were in.’”

Credit: Courtesy of Susie Evans/Instagram

Split From Susie

“It became, ‘I’m trying to heal. You are trying to heal. When I wake up and I’m happy [and] fine for one day, you are struggling. So now I’m sharing your pain.’ So it was this constant struggle and depression and it just wore us down,” Clayton told Us, noting that outside noise from fans would “validate our internal thoughts” about how they should be feeling about each other. “You can’t heal when you are pitted against each other.”

His mental health issues post-show “destroyed” their relationship.

“I didn’t want to get out of bed certain days. My days would start at 11:00 a.m. because I just didn’t want to get out and do stuff because I had no drive to live life. I remember just kind of looking at each other and thinking like, ‘We have to heal separately because we can’t take this any longer. I’m so destroyed. There’s nothing left. I have zero energy to fight this battle any longer.’ It was just a really sad place to be.”

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What He Wishes He Knew on ‘The Bachelor’

Clayton told Us that he wishes he had the “self-awareness” and “situational awareness” he has now when he was the Bachelor.

“I just never spent enough time in my own head to deep dive into my emotions and what I was feeling,” he said. “I also wish I would've had situational awareness because I would have then pulled myself out of the role of the Bachelor and put myself in the shoes of the women. And I would've said, ‘I wonder what they're thinking,’ more. Like, ‘How would they feel in this last week?’ I just assumed, ‘Hey, if they have a problem, they'll come speak to me about it.’ Situational awareness would've had me go the extra mile and say, ‘Clayton, this environment's a little different. You should probably just double-check so that we know that everyone's on the same page.’”

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Reunion With Rachel

Clayton was grateful to get forgiveness from Rachel when he saw her earlier this month. “There was so much healing there. That conversation was so powerful,” he said. “[Rachel and Gabby] don’t have any reason to [forgive me], but if she can, then everything that I’ve done is forgivable. And I can grow from this, and I can allow myself to forgive myself. If they forgive me specifically, I should be able to forgive myself. And so I did.”

He also understood why fans wanted to see them get back together — and admitted he was a point of discussion. “Her and I both talked about it. We said, you know, we have very high thoughts of each other. But, of course, after what all happened, it’s like, ‘How would you ever go about dating again after all of what occurred?’ She doesn’t have any interest in doing so,” he said. “And I got that. I also was on my end, like, ‘You know what, after everything we went through, being friends sounds very pleasant.’”

Credit: ABC/Nino Muñoz

Zach Being the ‘Boring Bachelor’

“I was the 'boring Bachelor' until I wasn't in the last three episodes. I hated the word boring because I had an insecurity of not feeling good enough when I was younger and always being a people pleaser. … It stung when I was called the ‘boring Bachelor,’ but what I found out was I would rather be known as the ‘boring Bachelor’ than known as the piece of you know what or the d-bag Bachelor or terrible human being,” he admitted. “I’d rather people just call me boring than start to attack my character. I did mention that to him. I said, ‘Hey, being the ‘boring Bachelor,’ it's not fun, but if you're confident in who you are, it won't sting you as much as it did me. You’ll be a lot happier to walk away with a genuine love connection or with just an experience being known as boring than being absolutely thrown fed of the wolves and torn apart and going through this mental struggle of people telling you to kill yourself and all this negativity.’ I’m like, ‘Dude, be boring. You'll be so grateful to be boring at the end of it.’”

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Clayton Confirms Date With Sara Cardona, But Is Single

“That was a date,” he told Us about hanging out with the sports reporter at a college basketball game in Kentucky earlier this month. “I just remember kinda laughing about it and telling her, ‘I’m sorry. I didn't expect to be put on the jumbotron. I didn't think this attention was gonna come.’ Thankfully, she's someone who spends a lot of time in front of a camera. It's her job. So she understood and was like, ‘Hey, I get it.’ But it still was a lot. That was my first experience of going on a date really with somebody where I was kind of captured by the public. And then I'm like, ‘OK, so my dating life is a public spectacle now. Even though I'm off the show, we're still having these discussions, but that's just what comes.’”

He added that he puts less emphasis on physical appearances as he dates post-show.

“I’m just super open, having conversations with everybody because you never know when that one person that maybe you wouldn't have given a chance to prior might end up being The One for you,” he said. “But with that being said, my dating life is complicated. I am doing all these other things. I probably am not giving it enough effort and I've met some incredible women, but I'm so focused on myself right now and building something that I'm not giving as much time and energy to somebody. So either they're gonna understand that and they're gonna gimme my space and allow me to build right now, or they're gonna say, ‘Hey, he just can't gimme what I need right now, I'm not interested.’ I probably have lost a few people to that, but I have to do with what's best for me first.”