Tino Franco Blames Ego and Insecurities for Cheating on Rachel Recchia, Says He Locked Himself in the Bathroom Before ‘After the Final Rose’

Credit: ABC/Craig Sjodin

Tino Franco Blames Ego and Insecurities for Cheating on Rachel Recchia, Says He Locked Himself in the Bathroom Before ‘After the Final Rose’

One month after his cheating admission and subsequent split from Bachelorette Rachel Recchia, Tino Franco is opening up about his tumultuous journey. “We can talk about [almost] anything at this point. Obviously, there are things that, you know, transpired between me and Rachel that — as we've both said — are deeply personal. And we're not going to touch it that, [but] I think we can very easily go through the timeline without touching any of that,” the 28-year-old Bachelorette season 19 winner began on the “Viall Files” podcast on Thursday, October 20. “I do not stand by what I did at all. It was not cool. It wasn't fair to Rachel. And it haunts me daily, still. It's something I'm ashamed of. And certainly, like, wish I could have done it differently, like, a million times over. … I’m trying to go through and unfold and figure out why my insecurities, my ego could just take over my actions like that and just led me down this path to go to rock bottom.” Moments after watching Tino and Rachel, 26, get engaged last month, Bachelor Nation saw their relationship crumble as he admitted to kissing another girl while the show was airing. [sendtonews type="float" key="8mLHD4ktl5-2830280-14453"] “I want to put it to bed — we weren't on a break. I don't know where that came from. We were not separated or anything like that,” Tino told Nick Viall before shedding light on why he stepped out on the pilot. “When I acted out, I felt like … we were starting to check out. We were just in a really dark place. Like, it's hard to describe because even looking back on it, it takes me to a place where, like, I really wish I just didn't do that and just didn't act out.” He explained that the pair had hit a rough patch over the summer when he went out with friends and led another woman on. “When you go through hard times in a relationship, it's hard to convince yourself that there's a light at the end of the tunnel,” he said. The general contractor cited his insecurities as the reason he cheated. “I just kind of gave in. I just leaned in, and we kissed and that wasn't fair to that girl, either. That wasn't considerate of her feelings at all. Like, she didn't want to be wrapped up in any of this,” Tino said. “And I realized really quickly [at the time], like, ‘I don't know what the future holds for me or Rachel, but I know this is not who I am, and this is not what I should be doing. So I got out of there.’ And it was pretty haunting.” Tino went on to admit that not telling Rachel about his indiscretion right away was almost as big of a mistake as cheating on her in the first place. “Biggest regret, outside of actually doing it, was not telling her right away. I should have told her the day after, hands down. Rachel deserves all that time back, and I can't give it to her. And all I can do is, you know, tell her I'm really sorry,” he said. “At the time, it just really felt like, you know, the relationship is kind of checked out of and I didn't want to handle it, like, publicly and all that. … I knew it was a one-time thing. [In] the following weeks, I took therapy way more seriously because I was like ‘OK, what why did I find this toxic outlet? This is shameful. This is not who I want to believe I am and I won't believe that.’ It’s a low-character moment, for sure. Worst thing I could have done to somebody in a relationship who I really, really loved.” Tino explained that things started to get better between him and Rachel as his slip-up loomed in the back of his mind. “I avoided situations that could have put me in the same shoes — drinking, hanging out with [that] friend group in those situations. I did all the steps I should have been doing before my mistake because then I would have had a healthy progression to get back on track in my own head and handling my own insecurities,” he said. “So didn't tell her right away and time just kind of kept going along. And me and Rachel would talk every day. We kind of put together a game plan of like, ‘OK, do we want this to work?’” So, how did things go when Tino finally confessed to Rachel? And what was his conversation with Aven Jones like after the runner-up appeared at After the Final Rose? Keep scroll through for more from Tino:

Credit: ABC/Craig Sjodin

Tino Franco Blames Ego and Insecurities for Cheating on Rachel Recchia, Says He Locked Himself in the Bathroom Before ‘After the Final Rose’

One month after his cheating admission and subsequent split from Bachelorette Rachel Recchia, Tino Franco is opening up about his tumultuous journey. “We can talk about [almost] anything at this point. Obviously, there are things that, you know, transpired between me and Rachel that — as we've both said — are deeply personal. And we're not going to touch it that, [but] I think we can very easily go through the timeline without touching any of that,” the 28-year-old Bachelorette season 19 winner began on the “Viall Files” podcast on Thursday, October 20. “I do not stand by what I did at all. It was not cool. It wasn't fair to Rachel. And it haunts me daily, still. It's something I'm ashamed of. And certainly, like, wish I could have done it differently, like, a million times over. … I’m trying to go through and unfold and figure out why my insecurities, my ego could just take over my actions like that and just led me down this path to go to rock bottom.” Moments after watching Tino and Rachel, 26, get engaged last month, Bachelor Nation saw their relationship crumble as he admitted to kissing another girl while the show was airing. [sendtonews type="float" key="8mLHD4ktl5-2830280-14453"] “I want to put it to bed — we weren't on a break. I don't know where that came from. We were not separated or anything like that,” Tino told Nick Viall before shedding light on why he stepped out on the pilot. “When I acted out, I felt like … we were starting to check out. We were just in a really dark place. Like, it's hard to describe because even looking back on it, it takes me to a place where, like, I really wish I just didn't do that and just didn't act out.” He explained that the pair had hit a rough patch over the summer when he went out with friends and led another woman on. “When you go through hard times in a relationship, it's hard to convince yourself that there's a light at the end of the tunnel,” he said. The general contractor cited his insecurities as the reason he cheated. “I just kind of gave in. I just leaned in, and we kissed and that wasn't fair to that girl, either. That wasn't considerate of her feelings at all. Like, she didn't want to be wrapped up in any of this,” Tino said. “And I realized really quickly [at the time], like, ‘I don't know what the future holds for me or Rachel, but I know this is not who I am, and this is not what I should be doing. So I got out of there.’ And it was pretty haunting.” Tino went on to admit that not telling Rachel about his indiscretion right away was almost as big of a mistake as cheating on her in the first place. “Biggest regret, outside of actually doing it, was not telling her right away. I should have told her the day after, hands down. Rachel deserves all that time back, and I can't give it to her. And all I can do is, you know, tell her I'm really sorry,” he said. “At the time, it just really felt like, you know, the relationship is kind of checked out of and I didn't want to handle it, like, publicly and all that. … I knew it was a one-time thing. [In] the following weeks, I took therapy way more seriously because I was like ‘OK, what why did I find this toxic outlet? This is shameful. This is not who I want to believe I am and I won't believe that.’ It’s a low-character moment, for sure. Worst thing I could have done to somebody in a relationship who I really, really loved.” Tino explained that things started to get better between him and Rachel as his slip-up loomed in the back of his mind. “I avoided situations that could have put me in the same shoes — drinking, hanging out with [that] friend group in those situations. I did all the steps I should have been doing before my mistake because then I would have had a healthy progression to get back on track in my own head and handling my own insecurities,” he said. “So didn't tell her right away and time just kind of kept going along. And me and Rachel would talk every day. We kind of put together a game plan of like, ‘OK, do we want this to work?’” So, how did things go when Tino finally confessed to Rachel? And what was his conversation with Aven Jones like after the runner-up appeared at After the Final Rose? Keep scroll through for more from Tino:

Credit: ABC/Ricky Middlesworth

When Tino Started Therapy

The reality star was set up with a therapist after he wrapped filming.

“Rachel and I broke up about a month before [the finale aired], so I stayed with the show one. She was phenomenal. She was a great listener. I just … I’m always gonna associate her with the traumatic experience, so I just felt like it'd be better if I moved on to somebody else,” he said, noting that he now sees a psychologist twice a week. “I wanted somebody if I really went south or something, they could make moves that some therapists can’t because they're social workers, and they can't prescribe anything. … I’ve made a lot of really good progress in it. Honestly, I probably am, like, 15 years overdue to start this kind of process.”

Credit: Craig Sjodin/ABC

How He Felt on Engagement Day

Tino told the season 21 Bachelor that he had “no doubts” the day he proposed to Rachel.

“[I thought], ‘This is it. I have the coolest story ever and the coolest girl ever,’" he recalled, adding that things were initially “amazing” post-show too. “Rachel really, really knows how to [be a] partner and make them feel really special and valued. … One of the best compliments I think you can ever receive —which I still to this day want to give to Rachel because she really shines at this — she is one of, if not the best, listener I've ever met.”

Credit: Craig Sjodin/ABC

When Things Started to Change With Rachel

Tino admitted that when promos for the show started airing, things changed for him.

“I can't describe to anybody how actually hard that is — watching [the show] back. … We kind of knew what we were signing up for as contestants in the sense that we're gonna see a lot of public displays of affection for people that aren't us. It's not the Tino and Rachel show. … That took way bigger of a toll on me than I thought it would,” he said. “And you couple that with feeling a little distant. I think we both had a lot of pressure on ourselves. You feel like you're under a spotlight. Of course, the leads get a tremendous amount of attention that I personally can't even empathize with because I've never done it. … I was trying to bring us back to that really affectionate way we were before where I was feeling really comfortable because watching it back — or just having Instagram at that time, seeing your feed filled with your theories or clips of other people — was really difficult. But looking back on it, she [had] a super full plate and I’m asking for more. I really think I could’ve been a way more supportive partner for her and seen through the storm.”

He added: “When emotions get high — and me and her are very passionate people — we would have talks that would get elevated, but that doesn't give you any excuse to act out.”

Credit: Craig Sjodin/ABC

Comparisons to Erich and Gabby

Co-lead Gabby Windey and Erich Schwer also got engaged during the finale.

“Erich’s a great dude. I tried to check in a lot with him on his family situation,” Tino said, referring to Erich’s dad, who died in July. “And him and Gabby, at the time when Rachel and I were going through our struggles, were doing so amazing. And when you see that and you're feeling insecure, that amplifies it a little bit. Me and Erich talked pretty regularly. He kind of was checking in like, ‘Hey, how's everything going?’ And I remember I didn't even really want to talk to him about it. Because I didn't want to get vulnerable with anybody about how I was feeling at the time.”

Credit: Craig Sjodin/ABC

On Rachel Giving Back the Ring

Nick revealed that the show takes away the Neil Lane engagement ring while the series is airing, giving it back to the couples during “happy couple” weekends and at After the Final Rose.

“Anytime we got [the ring], I was, like, stoked,” Tino said. “We did have some conversations about whether [she was] going to wear the ring if we went back to dating at AFR. And, you know, I think that's where me as a partner, as a fiancé as a boyfriend, whatever we were to each other at the time, that's where I really failed her. … Seeing the ring for four days, like, lit up my world. Any conversation around that, like, really, really cut me deep and it doesn't justify my actions. I did what I did because I'm insecure. I didn't have the strength to take a step back — even if something was said about the ring, I should have been able to take a step back and just kind of think productively about that.”

Credit: ABC/Craig Sjodin

Breaking Down Their Breakup Convo

Tino admitted that the “guilt” from the kiss “really started to take over” after Rachel was “being so amazing” and making an effort in their relationship. In hindsight, he thinks he was “a little needy” before he made his “mistake.”

After he confessed — revealing he initially told her that he just “led” a girl on — Rachel told him that she needed time to process. While he noted that he wanted her to take all the time she needed because he hoped to salvage things, he texted her once a day so she knew he was thinking of her. When she agreed to meet up, he was “notified the day before that there were going to be cameras there,” which caused him to freak out a bit.

“But we met on the show, so I was like, ‘OK. … I don’t know who wanted them there, but that was just the reality of it,’” he said. “The general consensus of when we were going into that house meet-up was, ‘We’re not giving up on this. We're coming in to work on it.' … I tried to go in as confident as I could. … I was hoping that we'd land on [and she would say], ‘Look, you know, you effed up, but you're gonna make it up to me because I've seen how great we can be together and we're gonna we're gonna see if we can get through this.’”

Tino noted that he’s “lost a lot of sleep” reliving their tense meet-up, going on to deny speculation that he was “on drugs.” He also addressed his decision to bring his notebook: “I wanted to be as articulate as I could and not be stumbling over my words, which I did anyways. It’s so funny that people are like, ‘Oh, you keep a list of mean things about your fiancée?' There are so many nice things written in there about her. I mean, you could really follow the path of it, like, the relationship’s trajectory and my therapist was just saying, like, journal your thoughts so you don't think about them all day, so I could, like, focus at work.”

He added that it was one of his friends who he spoke to on the phone, revealing that the conversation he had with Rachel was nearly two hours. “I was just really frazzled. …  It didn't go super smoothly. I unbuttoned my shirt, I threw my mic off. And I called him and I was like, ‘I don't think we're, like, arriving at the right spot. What do I do?’” he recalled. “I would’ve spent a week there … as long as we were moving toward, like, ‘We both really want this.’ … Watching it back, it was, like, so ridiculous. Because then I walked around the house because the mic — once they saw that I ripped it off — they started following me, so I was walking so they couldn't hear me.”

Credit: ABC/Craig Sjodin

‘After the Final Rose’ With Aven

Tino made it clear that while he wasn’t frustrated with Rachel about how After the Final Rose went, he wasn’t happy with the show. “That was mean, it wasn't very nice,” he said. “The show, I would’ve thought with them knowing how much I’d been struggling, wouldn’t go there or do something like that. The whole day before, I locked myself in the bathroom of the trailer that they put me up in, so I wouldn't have to do B-roll or anything like that. I was like, ‘I’m not doing it.’ I was crying in the bathroom because it was overwhelming being there. And that was pretty taxing.”

When producers brought Aven on stage to ask Rachel to talk, Tino said can barely remember what he was thinking: “I think I was just kind of like, ‘Why am I still out here?’ They could have a cute moment, like, why am I here?’ At that point, we'd been broken up for a month. I was at war with myself even going to AFR.”

Tino added that he and Aven spoke after the awkward moment.

“He texted me that night and just said, ‘Hey, I'm really sorry. That was tough.’ And then we talked on the phone the next day too. He's a class-act dude. I don't think he was at all trying to, you know, posterize me. I think he just went there with the intention of cheering up Rachel,” he said, adding that he believes that Aven didn’t know Tino would still be on stage.

Credit: ABC/Craig Sjodin

Is Tino Still in Love With Rachel?

“That’s a loaded one,” Tino responded. “I really, really loved Rachel through the whole process. I still think about her every day. … I think in the environment of the show, we really, really fell extremely in love. And it was something beautiful. … But I think there is somebody who's just more compatible for her out there. And that guts me even two months after the breakup. But if she ever needed something and needed to call me, I'd always answer. I'll always care about her and appreciate our time together.”

Credit: ABC/Craig Sjodin

Tino on His Bachelor Nation Future

“We all saw how sweaty I was, so I'd be in a tough position there. At least at this moment, at least in Bachelor Nation terms, if it's not Rachel, it's nobody,” he said when asked if he would go on Paradise. “It’s only been two months. … I wouldn't bet money on that changing.”