George Lopez has learned his lesson. Following his Feb. 27 arrest for public intoxication at a Canadian casino, the comedian has decided to stop drinking alcohol altogether, he revealed during a March 13 appearance on The Ellen DeGeneres Show.
Asked what he'd been up to in the four years since his last chat with DeGeneres, Lopez jokingly replied, "Well, Ellen, recently I lifted myself off the casino floor in Canada...You know how they always say whatever happens in Vegas stays in Vegas? Whatever happens in Canada, everybody knows."
"I was a bit intoxicated in Canada," he continued. "The authorities are much politer in Canada. You know, 'Sir, wake up. Sir, you're under arrest.' Very polite. And they told me, they said, 'Sir, this behavior cannot continue. And if it does continue, we would be honored if you would be mayor of Toronto,'" Lopez quipped, referring to Toronto's current mayor, Rob Ford, who has admitted to using crack cocaine "in one of [his] drunken stupors."
"Hilarious," DeGeneres replied. "That's nice that they were polite and everything worked out okay. So you were asleep on the floor of the casino?"
"You know, I was on my way to my room -- I just missed it by 35 floors," Lopez, 52, joked. "The casino carpet is so loud. I'm like, how the hell can I sleep on that carpet? It was so loud, you know, and guys were betting on whether I would get up...And then one person came by and said, 'I didn't know the Dog Whisperer [Cesar Millan] drank that much.'"
Waking up on the floor, the Lopez Tonight host continued, was, well, a wake-up call. "Since then I have not had a drop of alcohol," he told DeGeneres. "That was a nice going-away party for that guy, and then I'm the new George now sitting here in front of you...You know, just because Mexicans invented tequila doesn't mean we can handle it," he quipped.
"Well, I'm glad that you're okay, and I'm glad that you're stopping or taking a break or whatever you're doing," DeGeneres replied.
"Thank you," Lopez said. "No, I'm stopping."