Kesha Opens Up About Rehab, Eating Disorder: "I Was Being Hateful to Myself"
Kesha has changed her look, dropped the money sign from her name, and joined the singing competition Rising Star since leaving rehab in March. Now, the "Timber" singer is dismissing rumors that she checked into an undisclosed rehab facility for more than just an eating disorder.
"Sure, I've written songs about partying, but my dirty little secret is that I'm actually incredibly responsible," the 27-year-old wrote in an essay in Elle UK via The Hollywood Reporter. "I take my music and career very seriously, and certainly didn't land in this situation from partying. But I was cut off from the outside world and I imagined people making up stories at a time when what I really needed was support."
Kesha sought treatment for an eating disorder in January, telling Us Weekly in a statement that she would be "unavailable for the next 30 days." She returned to the red carpet for the first time on March 29, looking happy and healthy at the Humane Society of the United States' 60th Anniversary Gala.
"The music industry has set unrealistic expectations for what a body is supposed to look like, and I started becoming overly critical of my own body because of that," she continued to Elle UK. "I felt like people were always lurking, trying to take pictures of me with the intention of putting them up online or printing them in magazines and making me look terrible."
"I felt like a liar, telling people to love themselves as they are, while I was being hateful to myself and really hurting my body," she continued. "I wanted to control things that weren't in my power, but I was controlling the wrong things. I convinced myself that being sick, being skinny was part of my job. It felt safer somehow."
The star—now dating Brad Ashenfelter—also explained how she knew she was ready to leave rehab behind. "I knew I was ready to leave when I'd gained enough confidence to get on a plane knowing there would be paparazzi at the airport at the other end," she wrote. "I was right—they were there. But this time, when I saw the pictures, I felt okay."