All hail the Queens of Comedy — and an Oscar-winning drama queen, too! Amy Schumer kicked off season three of her Comedy Central show on Tuesday, April 22, with an all-star cast of fierce females, recruiting fellow trailblazers Tina Fey, Julia Louis-Dreyfus, and Patricia Arquette for a wry, witty sketch poking fun at sexism and ageism in Hollywood. (Warning: Video contains explicit language.)
In the skit, Schumer is out for a run when she happens upon three of her heroes enjoying a very sumptuous picnic in the woods. Recognizing her as "that girl from the television who talks about her p---y all the time," they invite her to join them in their celebration, a party commemorating Louis-Dreyfus' "last f--kable day" — that momentous occasion when Hollywood decides "you're not believably f--kable anymore."
"You know how Sally Field was Tom Hanks' love interest in Punchline and then like 20 minutes later she was his mom in Forrest Gump?" Fey says by way of explanation.
Schumer doesn't understand — all of these women are still crazy hot! So how do you know you're past your prime?
There are signs, they reply. For example, getting offered a rom-com with Jack Nicholson where you're "competing with another woman to f--k him." Or arriving on set to find that your wardrobe is just a bunch of long sweaters. Or — the clincher — auditioning for Mrs. Claus.
Men, they tell Schumer, don't have expiration dates. "They're f--kable forever," Fey quips. "They could be a hundred with nothing but white spiders coming out, but they're f--kable."
Louis-Dreyfus is quick to point out that there are benefits to being no longer "f--kable," though. For one thing, you don't have to worry about keeping up appearances — so you can chug an entire pint of melted ice cream and then let one rip afterward. Hypothetically speaking. (Or not.)
Watch the sketch above!