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American Idol’s Syesha Mercado Sobs About Losing Custody of Her Children: ‘It Hurts So Bad’

American Idol's Syesha Mercado Breaks Down About Losing Custody of Her Kids
Syesha Mercado. Courtesy of Syesha Mercado/Instagram

Syesha Mercado discussed her state of mind after losing custody of her two young children, whom she shares with partner Tyron Deener, in a heartbreaking video.

Related: Who Is Syesha Mercado? 5 Things to Know About 'American Idol' Alum

“I am a first-time mom and I’ve been deprived of holding my babies and feeding my babies,” Mercado, 34, emotionally explained on Tuesday, August 17.

The American Idol alum, who shares son Amen’Ra, 18 months, and her 2-week-old daughter with Deener, detailed the pain of having to miss out on her children’s milestones.

“I didn’t get to see Ra say mama for the first time. I didn’t get to see my babies meet for the first time. I didn’t get to see that and I can’t go back and redo that moment. I will never be able to go back and redo that moment,” she said.

For Mercado, the traumatic incident of initially having her son taken away has only gotten worse after recently losing her newborn daughter as well.

“I’m just missing out on so many precious moments — this is such a precious time. I feel my daughter. I feel when she’s hungry and know when she’s crying. And I can’t do anything. She’s not here with me,” she explained. “I’m supposed to be loving my babies. I’ve been deprived of that and I don’t know how to articulate it. It hurts so bad.”

The couple have previously used social media to raise awareness about their kids being “legally kidnapped” and placed in the care of Child Protective Services. Alongside a photo of her son, Mercado described in a July post how a routine visit to the hospital turned into her firstborn being taken from her.

“I took our sun [sic] to get extra fluids since he was resisting to drink the necessary fluids we were giving him. He was weaning from extended breast feeding to eating MORE solids and drinking the bottle independently,” Mercado wrote via Instagram last month.

The February visit took a turn when the partners were accused of “medical neglect” after allegations of malnutrition. The Florida native explained that her milk supply started to dry up during her pregnancy so she was trying to get some advice on what to do while her son attempted to adjust to formula and solid food.

Related: Biggest 'American Idol' Scandals and Controversies Through the Years

Mercado claimed that the Johns Hopkins hospital in her state allegedly forcibly took her son away after she refused to give their son a B12 shot, which she says she was never offered.

“WE NEVER refused the B12 shot & up until March 11th Ra was never left in the care of strangers and I was never without him for more than two hours,” she shared in the post at the time. “They ripped me away from my proudest creation in life, pure joy, my SUNshine.”

According to Fox, the Manatee County Sheriff’s Office said that doctors at the hospital contacted them after they became concerned over the boy’s health due to him appearing malnourished and underweight.

“We were also told by these medical professionals that unless he got the treatment he needed — ongoing, consistent treatment — that he would die,” a spokesperson for the sheriff’s office told the news outlet about the February incident. “It was our understanding that there had been … a lack of medical care. We want him to go back home, it just has to happen at the appropriate time.”

Earlier this month, Mercado posted an hour-long video of the local sheriff’s department surrounding her family’s SUV before taking their infant daughter away to the hospital for a physical exam.

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During the August post, the police presented the couple with a court order amid the roadside welfare check. They then removed the pair’s child from their care as Mercado broke down in response.

“Do you not feel anything? You guys, I’m human,” the Broadway alum tearfully asked in the video. “This is my baby. My baby is days old — and you’re taking my baby away from me.”

In Tuesday’s online conference, Mercado reflected on how an attempt to get help turned into them being “criminalized” for seeking assistance. Her partner noted that nothing they did “is detrimental” to their children.

“Our life revolves around health, balance and doing what we can to guide our children,” Deener said, before warning viewers that there are “agencies in place that have the ability to remove children without you breaking the law.”

“If this can happen to us, it can happen to you. We have no criminal background. We have no history with DCF. We have done nothing wrong,” he added.