Jana Kramer is opening up about the coparenting lessons she’s learned following her divorce from Mike Caussin.
“A few things I’ve learned about co-parenting after divorce,” Kramer, 42, wrote via Instagram on Saturday, September 5. “The end of a marriage comes with so much pain and grief, and you don’t get to totally separate from that person when you share kids. Learning how to put my own hurt aside and separate our relationship as a couple from our relationship as parents took time, healing a lot of growth.”
Kramer and Caussin, who were married from 2015 to 2021, are parents to daughter Jolie, 10, and son Jace, 7. Kramer has since moved on with Scottish soccer coach Allan Russell, with whom she welcomed son Roman in 2023. The pair tied the knot in Scotland in 2024.
“Letting go of control has probably been one of the hardest lessons for me,” she wrote. “What happens at their dad’s house isn’t always going to look exactly like what happens at mine but if something comes up that I know their dad would want a say in, I ask, and I know he’ll do the same.”
She continued, “Your kids shouldn’t have to choose sides. No matter what has happened between the adults, your kids deserve to have their own relationship with both of their parents. I never want them to feel like loving one of us means being disloyal to the other.”
Kramer went on to note that “missing parts of their life is really hard” and something that she doesn’t think “ever feels 100 percent normal.”
“There are ordinary school mornings, practices, holidays and little moments I’m not there for, and sometimes that still hurts,” she wrote. “Speaking of holidays, the first one you don’t wake up with your kids or have them for a tradition you’ve always done together feels literally heartbreaking. You eventually find new traditions and a new normal, but those first few are hard, and it’s OK to admit that.”
Kramer explained that her parenting plan with Caussin gives the exes “structure,” but noted that the pair “don’t treat it like it’s set in stone.”
“We’ve both gotten really good at adjusting schedules, switching days when needed and understanding that life happens. That flexibility on both sides has made coparenting so much easier,” she wrote. “Having a supportive partner makes a huge difference. Allan understands that coparenting is part of our life and supports the relationship J&J have with their dad. There’s no competition or trying to replace anyone, just another person in their corner who loves them and wants what’s best for them.”
She continued, “A bonus of this whole situation is Roman. He changed our family dynamic in the best way, and it’s been so special watching the relationship between all three of them grow.”
Kramer explained that with “three kids at different ages and in two different households, it’s easy for our time together to become all about the family as a whole,” but she tries to be intentional with one on one time.
“I try to make space for individual time with each of them, whether it’s a mani/pedi date … or a special movie night, I always want to make sure they each get moments where they have my full attention,” she wrote.
She continued, “I definitely don’t have it all figured out. There are still hard days, moments we don’t agree and times when old emotions come up. Coparenting isn’t about getting it perfect. For me, it’s about continuing to learn, give each other grace and come back to what matters most: our kids.”
In the caption, Kramer explained that she thought it would be helpful to share her lessons after talking via DM about coparenting. She added, “I hope this helps someone who’s navigating it too 🤍.”
