What One Mom Said When Her Daughter Called Her Fat

My daughter called me fat today. She was upset I made them get out of the pool and she told her brother that mama is fat. I told her to meet me upstairs so we could chat. Me: "what did you say about me?" Her: "I said you were fat, mama, im sorry" Me: "let's talk about it. The truth is, I am not fat. No one IS fat. It's not something you can BE. But I do HAVE fat. We ALL have fat. It protects our muscles and our bones and keeps our bodies going by providing us energy. Do you have fat?" Her: "yes! I have some here on my tummy" Me: "that's right! So do I and so does your brother!" Her brother: "I don't have any fat, I'm the skinniest, I just have muscles" Me: "actually everyone, every single person in the world has fat. But each of us has different amounts." Her brother: " oh right! I have some to protect my big muscles! But you have more than me" Me: "Yes, that's true. Some people have a lot, and others don't have very much. But that doesn't mean that one person is better than the other, do you both understand? Both: "yes, mama" Me: "so can you repeat what I said" Them: "yes! I shouldn't say someone is fat because you can't be just fat, but everyone HAS fat and it's okay to have different fat" Me: "exactly right!" Them: "can we go back to the pool now?" Me: no ?? __________________ Each moment these topics come up i have to choose how I'm going to handle them. Fat is not a bad word in our house. If I shame my children for saying it then I am proving that it is an insulting word and I continue the stigma that being fat is unworthy, gross, comical and undesirable. Since we don't call people fat as an insult in my household, I have to assume she internalized this idea from somewhere or someone else. Our children are fed ideas from every angle, you have to understand that that WILL happen: at a friends house whose parents have different values, watching a tv show or movie, overhearing someone at school- ideas about body image are already filtering through their minds. It is our job to continue to be the loudest, most accepting, positive and CONSISTENT voice they hear. So that it can rise above the rest. Give me a ?? if this resonated w u! Just do you! Xoxo Allie

A post shared by ALLIE ? Just Do You, Babe! (@allisonkimmey) on Jun 11, 2017 at 8:48am PDT

“My daughter called me fat today.” That is the first line of an Instagram post written by self-help author Allison Kimmey. “She was upset that I made them get out of the pool and she told her brother that mama is fat,” wrote the Cocoa Beach, Florida-based mom.

Instead of getting angry, Kimmey, 30, saw a teaching moment and instructed Cambelle, 4, and Graham, 6, to meet her upstairs for a chat. The body-positive health coach recounted their conversation in a lengthy post that has since gone viral. “The truth is, I am not fat,” she told them. “No one IS fat. It’s not something you can BE. But I do HAVE fat. We ALL have fat. It protects our muscles and our bones and keeps our bodies going by providing us energy.”

✋?STOP SCROLLING✋?Hey babes!! Up bright and early with a very important message that you NEED to hear! Sometimes I get all cozy and snuggled up in my little body positive and self love bubble. It's warm there, and there's rainbows and the best jams and only the most magical people. I have worked tirelessly to make this little bubble for myself. But sometimes I have to take a day trip to "real world" and get a little dose of what I call *this is why I do what you do* What I mean by that is: there's a lot of hate in this world…and people are ready to bring you down at any chance of finally feeling more worthy themselves. I see aggression in people but I see pain too. I'm not here to educate the unwilling or make excuses for the ignorant- but I am constantly reminded that I am here for you, beautiful soul, the one that doesn't have your impenetrable self love bubble built yet and can't see a way out of judgement and self depreciating thoughts. And there's something I need you to know: no matter how much you change- your circumstances, your body, your finances, your job, your relationship status – You are worthy of JOY, LOVE, OPPORTUNITY, and probably the most important and least received: RESPECT. NOW. NEXT MONTH. NEXT YEAR. THIS ENTIRE LIFETIME. IN ANOTHER LIFE. FOREVER. INFINITY. And on that same note, allowing others to shine in THEIR light will never dim what only YOU can offer to the world. So let's light it up! The whole dam world. With love, and kindness, and pure joy, and respect! And babe, if you want to come inside my self love bubble- there's an invitation waiting for you with the link in my profile! Isn't it time you started allowing yourself to feel worthy of these things? Just do you babes! Xoxo Allie _______ #justdoyoucrew #bopo #bodypos #bodypositive #selflove #transformationtuesday #confidence #youareworthy #embracethesquish #everybodyisbeautiful

A post shared by ALLIE ? Just Do You, Babe! (@allisonkimmey) on Jun 13, 2017 at 5:11am PDT

Kimmey, who penned the upcoming children’s book Glitter Stripes, concluded with a powerful message. “Fat is not a bad word in our house,” she wrote. “If I shame my children for saying it then I am proving that it is an insulting word and I continue the stigma that being fat is unworthy, gross, comical and undesirable.”

Her post has been liked nearly 34,000 times.

Kimmey opened up about the experience in an interview with Us Weekly. “I want parents to see that we are the loudest voices our children should hear . . . and it is vital that we choose our words carefully and that we are willing to have these hard conversations,” she told Us on Wednesday, June 20. “Kids absorb everything.”

This is what pure joy looks like Why am I so happy? Well, a lot of things really… But right now, in this instant, I'm sooooo pumped that my private women's only self love incubator online community that I created so that I could connect with my sisters on a deep, personal level is going live and opening its virtual doors in just under 6 days. Phew, that was a mouth full. And that also means I'll get to finally giveaway this basket of hand picked goodies to one of the Just Do You Crew babes!! I know this type of intimate, secret and supportive community isn't for everyone, but I just wanted to tell you that if you've been feeling like you're coming up short in the self Love department and you just can't quite "get it" then I want you to know that my team and I, and all our global sisters, we'd love to have you, and give you a virtual hug, and say you can sit with us and we'll raise each other up. I wouldn't talk about this if I didn't believe that it is truly going to be life changing for all of us. So if you would, give yourself a moment to tap the link in my profile and let me share with you our sacred sisterhood: The Just Do You Crew. And while you're at it, give me a ? if you're feeling the joy today too! Just do you babes! Xoxo Allie _________ Swimsuit by @curvyswimwear _________ #bopo #bodyconfidence #selflove #effyourbeautystandards #bodypositive #bodylove #sisterhood #community #girlpower

A post shared by ALLIE ? Just Do You, Babe! (@allisonkimmey) on Jun 20, 2017 at 7:33am PDT

Kimmey hasn’t always had such a healthy relationship with her body: for 12 years she struggled with restrictive eating and consumed under 1000 calories a day. “Even as a size 2/4 on my wedding and honeymoon, I could only see my perceived flaws,” she added to Us. After the birth of Cambelle in 2012, Kimmey hit rock bottom. “I had visions of her growing up and looking exactly like me,” she recalls. “I verbally said that I wished that she wouldn’t look like me. And at that moment I realized that I needed to change . . . not only for myself, but for my entire family — especially my children.”

Now a size 16/18, Kimmey has never been happier, and uses social media as a platform to inspire others. In March, she shared a photo of herself beaming in a bikini. “Who decided that I should be ashamed of my cellulite, my size, my rolls, my stripes? Who decided that I shouldn’t feel encouraged to take up space and be seen?” she captioned the image at the time. “I don’t know who decided that, but I do know that I choose each day to not heed the expectations of society’s standards. I do know that I deserve to exist. I do know that I am worthy of happiness and love. And I know you are too.”

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