The past few years have been a roller-coaster for Billie Eilish as she transitioned from making music in her brother Finneas O’Connell’s bedroom to becoming the youngest artist to sing a James Bond theme song. Along the way to the top of the charts, the 18-year-old has been open about her battle with depression.
“She’s in a much better place now than in 2018, when she really started to blow up,” a source reveals exclusively in the new issue of Us Weekly. “There were times when she didn’t want to leave the house because she couldn’t go out without being recognized.”
Ultimately, the Grammy nominee learned how to handle — and appreciate — her new reality with grace.
“She’s come to realize what a gift [her fame] is,” the source tells Us. “She would never complain about having such a massive, loving and dedicated fan base.”
Furthermore, Eilish has been “mind-blown by all of the incredible opportunities that have come her way” as of late, according to the source — namely a Rolling Stone cover and a Saturday Night Live performance.
“Every time she reaches a new milestone, it’s like, ‘What the f–k is my life?’” the source says. “In a good way, of course.”
The “Bad Guy” singer most recently opened up about her mental health on The Gayle King Grammy Special, admitting that she was “so unhappy” and “joyless” in 2018.
“I think about this one time I was in Berlin and I was alone in my hotel … and I remember there was a window right there,” she recalled during the CBS special, which aired on Thursday, January 23. “I remember crying because I was thinking about how the way that I was going to die was, I was going to do it.”
When Gayle King asked why she did not end her life, Eilish responded, “My mom.”
For more details on the Grammy nominee’s banner year, watch the video above and pick up the new issue of Us Weekly, on newsstands now.
If you or someone you know is in emotional distress or considering suicide, call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-TALK (8255).
