Madonna thinks Jennifer Lopez wants to copy her moves.
"Her ponytail distracted me," she went on. "Whenever artists come to see my show, they're studying me."
The Material Girl — who said on the Late Show With David Letterman Wednesday that she'd rather be "run over by a train" than wed 22-year-old beau Jesus Luz — also joked about dating Seacrest, 34.
"Honey, you're kind of old for me," she said while laughing.
Madonna — who divorced Guy Ritchie, 41, in 2008 — quipped that she likes her guys to be "old enough to dress [themselves]."
"Younger people are generally more adventurous — they're more open, more fun — have you met many guys my age?" she said. "Guys my age are married or divorced or grumpy, fat and balding."
Madonna says she maintains her looks, though, as "part of my job."
"If I'm not in good shape, then how can I dance around on stage with my butt hanging out, right?" she said. "I look in the mirror and go 'hmm-mm. Less cake, more work.'"
She also slammed Kanye West — who ambushed Taylor Swift on stage at the MTV VMA's last month — as "a bit impulsive.
"I would've given him a good talking to," she said. "He needs to put a lid on it. I do think he's very talented but he gets confused sometimes."
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