Nico Tortorella and Bethany Meyers have no time for haters. The married pair, who both identify as non-binary, receive a lot of criticism for their polyamorous marriage — a relationship where both can openly date other people — but they try not to let it get to them.
“Every day there is something for sure,” the Younger star told Us Weekly of disapproving comments on Wednesday, June 5, ahead of the 26th annual Life Ball, a fundraiser for AIDS research. “I mean we get flak from outside of the community and inside the community for sure.”
While Tortorella feels like they do a good job at “gauging someone’s knowledge” on the subject, “It’s the people that don’t get any of it that really get under my skin, but not in a way that, like, I’m mad at them,” the author of All of It Is You: Poetry noted. “I feel bad that they aren’t able to recognize what it is that I’m doing.”
The actor further explained their frustrations when people in the community are confused by their polyamorous relationship as well. “There are definitely tons of people inside the community that are like, ‘You know, you’re a man, you’re a woman, y’all are straight, like why the f—k are you talking about all this sh-t?,” the actor said. “That’s really upsetting, and sometimes I go to some of my best friends and, like, I spiral. I’m like, ‘I don’t always feel appreciated by the community or validated by the community.’”
Luckily the Space Between: Explorations of Love, Sex, and Fluidity writer has a strong group of friends that pep talk them. “[They say], ‘Girl, like you have reached so much farther than any of us ever will. Like, go fight those battles, we got it here,’” Tortorella continued.
But Tortorella and Meyers, 29, aren’t letting haters stop them from having a happy and healthy relationship. “We openly communicate all of our desires and our feelings and what we’re into and what we’re not into,” the 30-year-old told Us at the Younger season 6 premiere party in Brooklyn, New York on June 4. “It’s just all good.”
As for a family expansion? “I’m really great with babies! And we’ve been talking about having babies forever,” Tortorella added, noting that they’ve stepped back from the idea of having a child for a bit. “I feel like our babies will just choose when the time is right. It’s not actually going to be us that makes that decision.”
With reporting by Brody Brown and Lexi Ciccone