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Vanessa Bryant Admits She Is Struggling ‘Trying to Process’ Life Without Kobe Bryant and Daughter Gianna

A healing heart. Vanessa Bryant shared a candid message about how she is coping after the tragic losses of her husband, Kobe Bryant, and their daughter Gianna.

Related: Vanessa Bryant’s Sweetest Motherhood Moments

“I’ve been reluctant to put my feelings into words. My brain refuses to accept that both Kobe and Gigi are gone,” the former model, 37, wrote via Instagram on Monday, February 10. “I can’t process both at the same time. It’s like I’m trying to process Kobe being gone but my body refuses to accept my Gigi will never come back to me. It feels wrong. Why should I be able to wake up another day when my baby girl isn’t being able to have that opportunity?! I’m so mad. She had so much life to live.”

Vanessa Bryant AdmitsStruggling Trying to Process Life Without Kobe Bryant Daughter Gianna
Kobe Bryant, Gianna Bryant and Vanessa Bryant at the Connecticut-UCLA NCAA women’s basketball game on November 21, 2017 in Los Angeles, California. AP/Shutterstock

Vanessa acknowledged that she needs “to be strong and be here” for the couple’s three other daughters, Natalia, 17, Bianka, 3, and Capri, 7 months, but she is still “mad” about what happened to Kobe and Gianna.

“I know what I’m feeling is normal. It’s part of the grieving process,” she continued. “I just wanted to share in case there’s anyone out there that’s experienced a loss like this. God I wish they were here and this nightmare would be over. Praying for all of the victims of this horrible tragedy. Please continue to pray for all.”

Related: Kobe Bryant and Vanessa Bryant's Relationship Timeline

Kobe and Gianna were involved in a helicopter crash in the Calabasas area of Los Angeles on January 26 that claimed the lives of all nine people on board. The victims were later identified as the retired NBA player, 41, and Gianna, 13; pilot Ara Zobayan, 50; Gianna’s basketball teammates Alyssa Altobelli, 14, and Payton Chester, 13; Alyssa’s parents, John Altobelli, 56, and Keri Altobelli, 46; Payton’s mother, Sarah Chester, 45; and basketball coach Christina Mauser, 38.

Vanessa, who married the athlete in April 2001, spoke out about the tragedy for the first time on January 29, when she took to Instagram to thank fans and loved ones for their support.

“There aren’t enough words to describe our pain right now,” she wrote at the time. “I take comfort in knowing that Kobe and Gigi both knew that they were so deeply loved. We were so incredibly blessed to have them in our lives. I wish they were here with us forever. They were our beautiful blessings taken from us too soon.”

Related: Kobe Bryant’s Life in Photos

Countless celebrities have also paid tribute to the late father-daughter duo, most recently at the 2020 Academy Awards on Sunday, February 9. Spike Lee arrived on the red carpet in a purple and yellow Gucci suit with the Lakers star’s jersey number, 24, embroidered on the lapels. Billie Eilish, meanwhile, performed an emotional cover of The Beatles’ “Yesterday” during the In Memoriam segment, which began with a photo of Kobe.

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