With last week’s episode having revealed the big (and presumably final) secret of this roller coaster–style season, the FX series kept the blood flowing and scares coming on Wednesday, October 26. From graphic disembowelings to a skull-crunching scene that would’ve been right at home in this week’s Walking Dead premiere, American Horror Story wasn’t holding back in its last episode before Halloween. Here are the top five most screamworthy moments from American Horror Story: Roanoke, chapter 7.
Behold the Butcher
Sidney (Cheyenne Jackson) hoped out loud that Agnes (Kathy Bates) wouldn’t be deterred by a restraining order keeping her away from the “Return to Roanoke” set — and this, my fine fellow, is why you gotta be careful what you wish for. While Rory (Evan Peters) was bleeding to death inside the mansion, the crew inside the production trailer met their own bloody end courtesy of good ol’ Agnes, who is either a) the legit second coming of her character, or b) the most committed method actor ever. Also, thanks a lot, AHS, for that gratuitous shot of Sidney’s intestines strewed all over the lawn like sausages.
Getting Real Blair Witch-y Up in Here
After fleeing the house through the underground passage — and having a creepy encounter with the screaming undead specter of the mansion’s original owner — Audrey (Sarah Paulson) gave us a fascinating glimpse at what it would’ve looked like if a young Julie Andrews circa Victor/Victoria had been cast in The Blair Witch Project.
“Know you gave me the best months of my life,” she sobbed in a selfie closeup video message to Rory (Evan Peters), who she didn’t realize was dead … right up until his blood started dripping on her from above. Blech.
A Smashing Good Time
Poor Shelby (Lily Rabe): She might have nearly lost an arm to Agnes and her meat cleaver, but at least the experience would help bring her and Matt (Andre Holland) back together … right? Nope. Hours after Shelby’s near-murder, Matt woke up in a trancelike state and wandered down to the basement.
“I’ve been waiting for you,” he whispered, before being grabbed by a fast-moving shadow. Cue Dominic (Cuba Gooding Jr.) bringing Shelby downstairs, to find Matt in flagrante delicto with the forest demon.
“I came back for her! I’m in love with her!” he said, and Shelby — in a fantastic homage to either the Walking Dead season premiere, or Gallagher’s greatest hits, or maybe both — responded by taking a crowbar and smashing poor Matt’s head like an overripe cantaloupe. Splat.
Toothless Redneck-People Eaters
Bad news, folks: Those hillbilly cannibals weren’t just a bit of fictional flair to punch up the dramatization of “My Roanoke Nightmare.” Lee (Adina Porter), Monet (Angela Bassett) and Audrey were captured by the Polk family, who turned out to be the proud owners of a booming marijuana grow house. And what happens when people who eat people get the munchies? Nothing good, friends. After oiling and seasoning Lee’s leg, the Polks appeared with a plate of bloody meat that they forced Audrey and Monet to chow down on. And that’s all we’re going to say about that.
The end of Agnes survived long enough to enter the main house and do a little nonlethal hacking. (Pro tip: If this were a game of Clue, you couldn’t go wrong accusing the Drama Butcher, in the bedroom, with the meat cleaver.) But as it turns out, she was profoundly ineffective compared to the *actual* Butcher — who only needed one swing to cleave Agnes’ skull all the way down to her nose.
American Horror Story: Roanoke airs on FX Wednesdays at 10 p.m. ET.
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