First comes love, then comes everything else. Former Bachelor Sean Lowe warned current Bachelor Ben Higgins in his latest blog post about what to expect after Season 20 of the franchise ends — and it won’t be pretty.
Lowe, 32, wrote last week that Higgins has a long journey ahead of him. “The Bachelor does an incredible job of building storybook romances for both the TV audience and the bachelor himself, but there is a major disconnect that happens once the show is finished airing,” the Season 17 Bachelor wrote on Patheos. “After months of building one man up as the perfect guy (or the perfect Ben), after newfound fame, after winning the adoration of millions of girls watching at home on TV, after dating twenty-five women simultaneously (all of whom will stop at nothing to win your affection), after having genuine heart-felt feelings for multiple women… it all suddenly stops.”
Lowe admitted that after his season ended in 2013, he was oftentimes insensitive to his now-pregnant wife, Catherine Giudici. “Honor your fiancee between the time filming is done and the finale is aired. I think this is the most important thing to remember,” Lowe shared. “This is when the fame really starts to kick in and the network is promoting you as America’s dream guy and you’re receiving tons of attention from women across the globe. But not so fast! You’re engaged at this point. You have to realize that the show comes second and your new fiancee comes first (I struggled with this at times). Always be aware of your fiancee’s feelings and ask yourself if what you’re doing is honoring her.”
Lowe also advised Higgins, 26, to be weary about fame. “Right now you’re probably feeling pretty darn famous, because well, you are,” he told the Denver-based hunk. “Millions of people are watching you on TV every Monday night and you can’t walk down the street without getting mobbed. Here’s what you need to know though: It fades fast.”
Instead, Lowe told Higgins to turn his focus on his fiancée. “Give your relationship the attention and it will be so much more rewarding than anything fame could ever bring you,” he noted. In another bullet point, Lowe said, “Being the bachelor can really mess with your head. You’re thrust into this weird world where it’s okay to date multiple women and where you’re the person being chased,” he shared. “A man should always be the pursuer and not the one being pursued. Since that’s not the dynamic on The Bachelor, sometimes the chosen woman can be left feeling unfulfilled . . . If you want any chance of success, you must flip the script. Chase after your woman.”
Though Lowe’s season aired nearly three years ago, he has held onto his takeaways from his experience with the ABC show. “Looking back, I can see how badly Catherine needed empathy during the first few months of our relationship,” he wrote. “For months, she shared me with other women, she watched me date them on TV, she waited on standby as I traveled the country promoting the show. All the while, I didn’t stop to think how hard that must have been for her. Looking back, I wish I would have thanked her for being so gracious, and I wish I had told her that I understood how tough that must have been. I failed in that regard but, hopefully, Ben can learn from my mistakes.”
The insurance broker-turned-entrepreneur was also very direct about the low success rate for Bachelor and Bachelorette couples. “You’re going to find out really fast that making a relationship born on realty TV work is really difficult,” he concluded. “But if you both commit to putting each other first, to working out the details of leaving families and jobs behind, and to growing your relationship stronger every day, you will be rewarded with the most beautiful thing in the world: a loving wife.”
Lowe and Giudici, 29, who are starring together on WE series, Marriage Boot Camp: Reality Stars, tied the knot in a televised wedding special in January 2014. They announced in December that they are expecting their first child together.
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