Teen Mom OG takes Hawaii! Farrah Abraham invited her not-boyfriend Simon Saran on her family’s beach holiday, and everything was perfect. By which we mean terrible. Meanwhile, Amber Portwood reunited with her cellmate, Maci Bookout moved into a swanky new pad and Catelynn Lowell left for mental-health rehab.
Farrah Invites Simon to Hawaii, Promptly Rejects Him
Please educate yourself because Farrah spent this episode trolling the beaches of Hawaii and preaching the following #wisdom: “You know what I wonder? If the Earth is a circle, how does the water always stay? Gravity? But the water is a little bit more heavier than gravity.” The fact that she hasn’t been made an honorary professor somewhere is a crime.
Anyway, Farrah’s Hawaiian quest to discover gravity was totally ruined by — you guessed it — Simon, who flew out for a post-Eastergate makeup session. Unfortunately, the trip was a total bust because Simon and Farrah got into an argument about how “fake” each other is, and she ended up throwing his “day bag” out on the curb.
By the way, if you’re wondering whether or not Farrah’s in love with Simon, she had this to say: “I don’t think I need to be concerned of if I love someone right now. It’s more or less repairing what was already started. And it’s slowly getting there. But I’m, like, why isn’t it there already?”
Good question, Farrah. It’s a shame she and Simon can’t make it work, especially when they have such invigorating conversations. In fact, just this episode, Farrah told her man, “I love when clouds touch mountains or whatever.”
Amber Reunites with Her Cellmate
Surprise! Amber’s boyfriend threw her an unexpected birthday party to celebrate the big 26, and get this: Not only did Leah show up thanks to Gary Shirley being a good sport, Amber’s old cellmate made an appearance! Everyone, meet Nicole, Amber’s top-bunk mate — and the only girl from their prison friend group to make it in the real world. “She knows all of my ups and downs, and she was my best friend,” Amber told her loved ones. “And we’re actually the only two out of our friends who have made it and haven’t went back in.”
Aww, so sweet! But in slightly less happy news, Amber told producers that she’s struggling with depression. “We all have different problems on this show, but for some odd reason, I’m so depressed,” she revealed. “I’m bipolar and manic depressive, I’m borderline personality. I’m diagnosed with every single one of those. I’m on my medications for it.” (Note: Amber said she takes non-narcotics.)
Maci Sizes Up
You know how Maci and her fiancé, Taylor McKinney, literally just bought a house? Yeah, well, now they’re buying a new one. An unexpected pregnancy will do that to a couple! These two managed to find a brand new place pretty quickly, and moved in during this episode.
In other news, Taylor got a tattoo of their unborn baby’s name (hi, Maverick!), which inspired a hilarious conversation about what would happen if he turned out to be a girl. Also, Maci dropped this bombshell: “Ryan was supposed to be a girl. Not f‑‑king surprising at all.”
Catelynn Leaves for Mental Health Rehab
See ya, Catelynn! The new mom said bye to her family and went to Arizona to start a month of mental health treatment, and guys? Tyler Baltierra was bereft. This dude couldn’t hold back tears while saying bye to his wife, but admitted that she needed help. “[She’s] like a log just rolling through days,” he explained to producers, going on to tell Cate, “You’re not f‑‑ked up, honey. Things happen. As long as we don’t mask it no more, and we fix it.”
Speaking of fixing things, Cate told her therapist she planned to stop smoking pot. “I probably won’t come home and smoke — actually, I should just start saying I won’t come home and smoke ever again,” she said. “I feel like I’m a crack addict or something that’s gotta go to rehab.”
Tell Us: Do you think Catelynn will get the help she needs in Arizona?
Teen Mom OG airs on MTV Mondays at 9 p.m. ET.