If the Teen Mom OG season finale had a catchphrase, it would read: "Close, but no cigar!" The Monday, May 25 episode featured a series of big moments that almost happened — Catelynn's mom almost saw Carly for the first time since her birth, Amber and Gary almost went to court for custody of Leah, Maci almost got engaged, and Farrah's boyfriend almost broke up with her.
But alas, the First Ladies of MTV kept us in suspense (hopefully building up to another season?!). Here's what happened:
With a big trip to Los Angeles in the works, Catelynn decided to stop breastfeeding a little early so she and Tyler Baltierra wouldn't have to bring baby Novalee with them to the appearance.
Instead, Cate left her little one in the care of her mom April. It was a pretty pivotal moment of trust between the two after years of an abusive relationship between them due to April's substance abuse. Now she's clean and sober and the perfect grandma to little Nova.
With the Teen Mom reunion just around the corner, April was hoping to see her other granddaughter, Carly, for the first time since her birth, but Carly's adoptive mother Teresa wasn't comfortable with bringing her little girl to the event. A tearful April admitted she was disappointed by the decision, but opened up to Catelynn about how much her opinion on adoption has changed.
"You taught me a lot about adoption I didn't know," April said. "It's not like you're just giving your baby away. I correct people now. No, they didn't give Carly up. They placed her." Sob.
What came first: The baby or the house? A very pregnant Maci wanted to make sure it was the house. Along with her longtime live-in boyfriend Taylor McKinney, the Tennessee mama went on a house hunt and found the perfect place with a room for Bentley to play X-Box.
Since the adorable little boy with the most precious Southern twang below the Mason-Dixon line was not allowed to film, MTV seemed to cast Bonnie the Boxer in the pivotal role of Maci and Taylor's child. She did well, "giving paw" when Taylor asked if she liked the house. But we still wish Bentley was there to show off his Ninja Turtles gear.
With a new home and a baby on the way, the next big question was when will Taylor propose. Even Maci's ex Ryan Edwards seemed pro-Taylor.
"She’s in a really serious relationship with the guy that she’s having a baby with," Ryan told his friend. "His name’s Taylor, and he’s a great dude. Couldn’t ask for better with that. Gotta put up with her until Bentley’s at least 18, but really for the rest of my life. So I really hope they seal the deal because he’s a really good dude." We vote Ryan for "Most Improved" this season.
But even R-Dawg couldn't convince Taylor to pop the question. He and his massive beard go ring shopping and afterward he tried to fake out Maci by turning to "get a surprise" from the nightside table. But instead of a diamond, he snagged a Bud Light, teasing, "Guess you'll have to stay tuned!" Umm, Taylor, are you helping MTV with their marketing?
It was the same 'ole complicated love story with Amber and her ex Gary Shirley this week. Both were pissed off at each other for reasons that made little sense. With Gary mostly in charge of Leah's time, Amber was threatening once again to take him to court for custody.
Naturally, Gary was thinking the same thing, declaring, "It'd be so much easier if she was gone!"
Desperate to spend time with a sick Leah no matter what, Amber and her fiance Matt Baier turned their romantic weekend at the Fantasuites into a fun play date for Leah.
"Sometimes your Fantasuites turn to family suites!" Amber joked in her voiceover. But the status of the custody battle was left up in the air, as was the Portwood family's opinion on the seemingly shady Matt.
In many ways Farrah Abraham seems like a walking contradiction. She has appeared in an adult film, authored erotic novels, created her own line of sex toys, and had a kid at 17, but she won't let her boyfriend live with her until they are married. Go figure.
The new man in her life, Simon Seran, didn't seem particularly interested in taking things to the next level. In fact, he told Farrah that he needed at least two years before getting serious, which she interpreted to mean two years before engagement.
To speed up the process, Farrah decided to introduce him to her daughter Sophia. It remained unclear what came over Sophia, but the moment Simon got in the car, she appeared to be imitating the child from The Omen. No joke, at one point she was even strangling Simon with his own seatbelt.
"I obviously have a piece of s–t record of boyfriends. I just don’t trust people. If Soph doesn’t like him, we can’t keep dating," Farrah told her friend. What happens if he doesn't like her?
As the pressure parade continued, Farrah declared, "I’m not waiting two years to get engaged to you. That’s for ugly girls, babe."
Simon remained relatively silent throughout these pointed comments, and after one insanely awkward car ride back to the airport in which Farrah physically forced Sophia's sleeping head to rest on Simon's lap, the guy seemed thoroughly done. He didn't even do us the courtesy of a breakup phone call, leaving Farrah to dial and re-dial his number countless times.
Tell Us: What did you think of the Teen Mom OG season finale?
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