Robert Pattinson in "Cosmopolis" Credit: Caitlin Cronenberg


US Rating: *

Robert Pattinson's lousy summer isn't over yet. Now the actor (whose girlfriend, Kristen Stewart, was photographed cheating on him July 17 with her Snow White and the Huntsman director Rupert Sanders) is lost in a strange, long-winded and unwatchable mess.

As a monotoned billionaire financier, the actor spends the day in New York City riding in his limo to get a haircut. Don't ask why. For 108 excruciating minutes, he picks up vacant-eyed passengers and spews nonsensical philosophies about women and rats. Rats, people! But that's high art compared with the scene in which a doctor nonchalantly gets in the car and gives him a full prostate exam.

Twi-hards, you've been warned.

Directed by David Cronenberg and based on the novel by Don DeLillo, Cosmopolis is in theaters August 17. The film also stars Jay Baruchel, Paul Giamatti, Kevin Durand, Juliette Binoche, Sarah Gadon and K'naan.