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‘Game of Thrones’ Recap: We Finally Know What Happened to [Spoiler]

It would have been tough for Game of Thrones to outdo the blazing excitement of the August 6 dragon-centric episode, but in the latest installment, titled “Eastwatch,” they didn’t even try.

Related: Game of Thrones Cast: What They Look Like Off-Screen!

Game of Thrones season 7, episode 5. Helen Sloan/HBO

Despite a strong start featuring a pair of fiery deaths (buh-bye, Tarlys), the new episode was basically an endless series of meetings in which people talked about things written on various parchments — and which not even the return of a long-lost, fan-favorite character or a surprise pregnancy announcement could liven up. 

Here’s everything you need to know about the latest doings in Westeros.

Jon Snow Touched the Dragon

Sorry, shippers; that’s not a euphemism for Jon Snow (Kit Harington) and Daenerys Targaryen (Emilia Clarke) finally getting it on. With Daenerys back from conquering the Lannister armies (and executing the Tarlys, who wouldn’t bend the knee), Jon took the opportunity to touch Drogon the Dragon while Dany looked on with … amazement? Disgust? (She also later mentioned that she sees the dragons as her children, which means she sat up there watching while Jon straight-up caress her baby. Awkward.)

Also, thanks to the show’s extremely truncated timeline, a cured Jorah Mormont (Iain Glen) arrived at Dragonstone shortly thereafter and got a hug from his beloved queen for his troubles. Aww.

Related: TV’s Most Shocking Deaths: Major On-Screen Moments From Television Shows

Arrivals and Departures … and Impending Arrivals

Word reached Jon at Dragonstone that Bran (Isaac Hempstead-Wright) and Arya (Maisie Williams) were back at Winterfell — and that the Night King’s army was still on the move and advancing rapidly. The impending battle against the dead meant a change of plans: Tyrion (Peter Dinklage) traveled to King’s Landing to propose an armistice, while Davos Seaworth (Liam Cunningham) took a side trip to Flea Bottom for a little fan service.

That’s right, folks: Gendry (Joe Dempsie) rowed all the way home to his old blacksmith digs, where he’s been waiting for Davos to come get him … and the giant hammer he likes to use to bash people’s heads in. Meanwhile, Sam Tarly (John Bradley-West) got sick of pushing paper at the Citadel and bailed in the middle of the night — rudely interrupting Gilly (Hannah Murray) just as she was about to discover that Rhaegar Targaryen and Lyanna Stark were legit married.

Oh, and Cersei (Lena Headey)? She’s pregnant, and Jaime (Nicolaj Coster-Waldau) is the father! Because it worked out so well the last three times.

Intrigue at Winterfell

Jon’s long absence from Winterfell isn’t sitting well with his allies, and Sansa (Sophie Turner) was doing her best to placate them — but her best wasn’t good enough for Arya, who not-so-subtly suggested that Sansa was jonesing for control of the North herself.

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However, Arya’s radar for wrongdoing may not be as finely tuned as her sword-fighting skills. She spent ages creeping around after Littlefinger (Aidan Gillen) and breaking into his room to find a hidden piece of parchment … only for it to turn out that he’d been watching her watching him the whole time. Who’s gaming whom?

Operation Wight Retrieval

Finally, the allied forces against the Dead Army had decided that the best way to convince Cersei of its existence would be to go north, kidnap a wight and bring it back to King’s Landing … uh, somehow. (In a box? On a leash? It kinda seems like they haven’t thought this one through.) Cue Jon, Jorah and Gendry arriving at Eastwatch castle, where it turned out the Hound (Rory McCann) and his pals were already waiting.

“Here we all are, at the end of the world,” said Beric Dondarrion (Richard Dormer). And with a dearth of guys available for the wight-capturing mission, it only made sense for them to all team up. So they did, after some discussion. Maybe next week they’ll actually, like, do something.

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