A touching tribute. Jamie Otis reflected on her son Johnathan’s 2016 loss on Monday, August 23, in honor of Rainbow Baby Day.
“I’ve never wished for my children, [Henley, 4, and Hendrix, 15 months], to stop growing up or to stay little forever,” the Married at First Sight alum, 35, captioned throwback photos from her pregnancy with her daughter in 2017. “I thank God every.single.day that they have been able to grow big and strong because their older brother, Johnathan, wasn’t able to. I’ll always wish there had been *something* I could have done to protect Johnathan and keep him safe so he could be here with us.”
The Bachelor alum went on to call her pregnancy loss the “sharpest pain” she has experienced.
Otis added, “I’ve had many early pregnancy losses, but there’s something about Johnathan that *feels* different. … Maybe because I went into labor and delivered him? I birthed him [at 17 weeks] and then didn’t want to let him go. If they would’ve let me walk out of that hospital with him, I would have. Instead I just held him, kissed him, and rocked him until they took him from me.”
The New York native believes she will meet her son again one day. “I also believe he’s looking down watching over his little sister and baby brother making sure they’re safe, healthy, and strong,” the Wifey 101 author wrote. “Johnathan, you will forever be my baby boy and I will never, ever stop honoring you or talking about you to anyone who will listen.”
The former reality star shares her children with husband Doug Hehner. The couple tied the knot in March 2014 and have been recently experiencing a “rough patch” in their marriage.
Because of their relationship issues, Otis told her Instagram followers earlier this week that their plans for another child are on hold.
“We’ve kinda put trying for our next baby on the back burner while we focus on strengthening our marriage,” the Married at First Sight: Unfiltered host captioned a Thursday, August 19, PDA picture. “My biggest fear with this is that … the time is ticking away. I just know in my heart I am supposed to have more children. I genuinely don’t feel like our family is complete yet. It’s hard to explain, but I have this really strong feeling that I’m meant to have more children living on earth and being part of this little family we’ve created.”
