A dark time. Vanderpump Rules star Jax Taylor revealed in a new interview that he struggled with suicidal thoughts following his dad’s death from esophageal cancer in December 2017.
“I get a phone call over speaker and it was my mom bawling her eyes out,” Taylor, 39, recalled to Men’s Health of getting the news while driving with now-fiancée Brittany Cartwright. “She’s, like, ‘Your father is dead.’ I pulled the car over. I collapsed.”
He continued: “I didn’t know how to deal. I was on the way to see him the next day. I fell on the ground in the middle of the highway. I threw my phone on the highway. I was convulsing and everything. I was freaking out. I didn’t know what to do. My life flashed. My best friend died.”
As for how he coped in the days and weeks that followed, the reality star noted that he “was in a deep rut,” adding, “I was literally going to lock myself in a room and do enough drugs to hurt myself.”
Taylor revealed how Cartwright, 29, encouraged him to seek a safer method of dealing with his pain, encouraging him to get a medical marijuana card in hopes he would find a state of calmness.
“Brittany was, like, ‘I understand where you’re coming from. I can’t imagine what you’re going through, but can you try something?’” he said. “I tried it and it changed my life. I said, ‘You know what? I’m not going to hurt myself. I’m not going to drink. I’m going to flip this around and make my dad proud. I’m going to go to the gym. We’re going to start some businesses. We’re going to move up.’”
The former model also dished on staying positive and continuing to work on bettering himself, including attending once-a-month premarital counseling with Cartwright.
Taylor — who popped the question to his Pump Rules costar in June — made headlines prior to the proposal for cheating on Cartwright with former SURver Faith Stowers during season 6 of the hit Bravo show.
Cartwright opened up to Us Weekly in November about how she was able to forgive him for being unfaithful.
“I see him every single day making efforts and he’s completely changed the way he treats me, the way he talks to me, the way he listens to me. Every single thing about our relationship is better,” she told Us. “I know how much he’s wanting the wedding and how much he’s wanting to marry me, how much effort he’s putting into the wedding, just as much as me. I don’t know, whenever you know somebody as well as I know Jax, you can just tell.”
