Learning from her mistakes. Jessica Simpson recounted the trials and tribulations of her relationship with John Mayer and how it affected her self-esteem during her appearance on The View on Wednesday, February 5.
The “Irresistible” singer, 39, revealed that she shared the details of their tumultuous romance in her memoir, Open Book, because she “wanted people to understand that there’s so many relationships out there that make you feel insecure.”
Simpson recalled that Mayer, 42, wanted her “to be myself but in a certain way,” which she allowed because she was in love with the “Your Body Is a Wonderland” singer at the time. However, his expectations put a strain on her relationship with him and, ultimately, with herself.
“When I love people I always want it to last,” the Employee of the Month star explained. “I want it to be forever. I want to marry you. I’ll ask you on the first date. I am that girl. But I truly, you know — John, it was a very unhealthy and manipulative relationship for me and it was painful. I lost a lot of my identity just trying to be present in conversation and hang in there with him.”
Simpson added that the Grammy winner is “very intellectual” and made her feel like she wasn’t smart enough.
“We loved each other but it was not a healthy love,” she said. “He loved to break up with me to write music about it.”
The View cohost Meghan McCain told Simpson that hearing about her difficult relationship with Mayer “made me hate him,” to which Simpson responded, “Don’t hate him.”
In her memoir Open Book, Simpson wrote that Mayer “wanted to have all of me or nothing. Again and again, he told me he was obsessed with me, sexually and emotionally.”
She continued on that the “Waiting on the World to Change” crooner made her feel like their conversations were a rivalry.
“I constantly worried that I wasn’t smart enough for him,” Simpson penned. “He was so clever and treated conversation like a friendly competition that he had to win.”
Simpson later confessed that her relationship with Mayer led her to start “relying on alcohol” to cope.
The former couple met at Clive Davis’ annual pre-Grammys party in February 2005 and began dating in 2006 following her divorce from Nick Lachey earlier that year. She and Mayer split in 2007.
Mayer, for his part, described his relationship with Simpson in 2010 as “sexual napalm” in a Playboy interview.
“That girl is like crack cocaine to me,” he said of Simpson at the time. “Sexually, it was crazy. That’s all I’ll say.”
Simpson went on to marry Eric Johnson in 2014. The couple are the parents of daughter Maxwell, 7, son Ace, 6, and daughter Birdie, 10 months.
