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Teen Mom OG’s Amber Portwood on Her Debilitating Depression: ‘My Life Stops … There’s No Getting Out of It’

Amber Portwood
Amber PortwoodMTV

Sharing her truth. Teen Mom OG’s Amber Portwood opened up about her battle with depression in an interview with Cosmopolitan on Wednesday, September 14.

According to the reality star, 26 — who revealed her mental health issues on the Monday, September 12, episode of TMOG — she is struggling to feel better.

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“My life stops when I'm depressed because there's no getting out of it. There's no shaking it off because it's a chemical imbalance,” Portwood explained to the publication. “When I get depressed, my depression is laying in bed, not moving, not wanting to even take a shower.”

The Never Too Late author, who shares daughter Leah, 7, with ex Gary Shirley, told Cosmo that her fiancé, Matt Baier, has been a huge support during her darkest days.

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“Matt's had to pull me out of bed I don't know how many times and start the shower for me because I've been so down,” she continued. “And my anxiety … I can't really go out in public a lot because of it. I don't like going to movie theaters, and it's just really hard.”

Not only does the recovered opiate addict — who completed 16 months of what was originally a five-year prison sentence at Indiana’s Rockville Correctional Facility in November 2013 for drug-related charges — suffer from depression, she recently told MTV producers on-camera that she has borderline personality disorder in addition to bipolar disorder.

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“Yes, I'm actually diagnosed. The borderline personality is a new diagnosis that I obviously don't want to believe, but my therapist believes it. It's hard. I was diagnosed with bipolar a long time ago,” the 16 & Pregnant alum told Cosmo. “It's really hard. I think people don't quite understand what it's like to be bipolar and then have something like borderline personality on top of it, plus you have anxiety disorder.”

She somberly added: “I've just been screwed up since the beginning, which is a big reason why I used to self-medicate as well. I'm glad I have professional help now.”

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Also helping Portwood through the tough times is her daughter, Leah, affectionately nicknamed “Boo Boo,” who she praises for making her the “happiest” version of herself.

Me and my lovely booboo! Sending love everyone?

A post shared by Amber Leann Portwood (@realamberlportwood1__) on

“Boo Boo's doing great! Oh, my God, she's such a happy kid,” the MTV personality gushed to the magazine. “It's amazing. She won't cuss. She won't be mean. [She’s] very smart.”

Teen Mom OG airs on MTV Mondays at 10 p.m. ET.

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