Teen Mom OG star Tyler Baltierra is opening up about a “very dark time” in his life. In a poem he posted to Instagram on Sunday, June 25, the 26-year-old detailed his suicide attempt at age 11.
Baltierra begins the poem by describing “a little boy almost 12 years old with an angry core … already smoking & trying to find a way to not have his mind collapse to the floor.” The boy is excited to see his father later that week but then learns his dad is going back to prison. (MTV has documented Butch Baltierra’s multiple arrests, time behind bars, and drug addiction on the hit docuseries.) “He sits in the middle of the kitchen, tears are falling to the floor as he rests his head on the cabinet door & asks what is this life even worth living for?” the MTV personality writes. “He sees the knives on the counter, he thinks maybe he can go out that way.”
As the poem continues, the boy then ties the rope from a rope swing around his neck and jumps from a tree branch. “He grabs that rope as it starts to choke,” the poem continues. “He’s gasping for air, now he’s losing hope, he’s struggling to breathe, he’s stretching his feet to reach the dirt & scrambling because his young naive brain just didn’t believe how much this would hurt.”
The boy finally frees himself and falls to the ground. “He feels lost, sad, & happy, gal all those emotions he feels simultaneously,” Tyler explains. “Lost in his mind, sad for all the desperate times, but happy to still be alive!”
Finally, Baltierra — who had previously discussed his suicide attempt on Teen Mom OG — reveals he was that boy. “This is my story,” he says in the poem. “Now hopefully you understand a little more about me as a human being with a spirit, a soul, & a life worth living for.”
In the caption to the Instagram post, the reality star explains he originally intended to keep this poem private. “But I know that I’m not the only one who went through mental health struggles & I know that someone can relate to this experience, which is why I decided to vulnerably share this with you guys,” he adds. “This was written about a very dark time in my life & I still don’t like to categorize myself as a survivor but the older I get, the more I realize that we are ALL survivors & we ALL are worthy enough to live! #YouAreNotAlone #PoetryIsMyBrainsFreedom #KeepTalkingMH #SickNotWeak”
If you or someone you know is in emotional distress or considering suicide, call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-TALK (8255).
