Everything Demi Lovato Has Said About Her Identity Since Coming Out as Non-Binary

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Everything Demi Lovato Has Said About Her Identity Since Coming Out as Non-Binary

An open book! Demi Lovato has been candid about her journey with gender identity and sexuality in recent years. [ami-related id="2352860" url="https://www.usmagazine.com/celebrity-news/pictures/harry-styles-and-more-stars-who-refuse-to-label-their-sexuality/" title="Harry Styles, Miley Cyrus and More Stars Who Refuse to Label Their Sexuality" target="_blank" thumb="false" imgsrc="https://www.usmagazine.com/wp-content/uploads/2022/06/Stars-Who-Refuse-Label-Their-Sexuality-Feature.jpg?quality=40&strip=all" imgid="2352869" format="gallery" flag="" channel="1"] During an August 2022 appearance on the “Spout Podcast,” the “Cool for the Summer” singer said she had “actually adopted the pronouns of she/her again” due to “recently … feeling more feminine.” The change came more than one year after Lovato said she preferred they/them pronouns “Today is a day I’m so happy to share more of my life with you all — I am proud to let you know that I identify as non-binary and will officially be changing my pronouns to they/them moving forward,” the "Dancing With the Devil" artist wrote via Instagram in May 2021. “This has come after a lot of healing and self-reflective work. I’m still learning and coming into myself, and I don’t claim to be an expert or a spokesperson.” At the time, the musician said that the change came from learning more about herself. [jwplayer Q0bby0c7-zhNYySv2] "Since I’ve learned about gender identity more and learning about being nonbinary or gender nonconforming, I’ve used this time to really explore what feels right to me," the 'Skyscraper" singer explained during a June 2021 interview on Audacy Check In. "And after a year and a half of exploration, I realized it was time to let the world know that it feels weird to me when I get called a 'she' or a 'her.' I understand that people might have a hard time adjusting to it because it is something new, but I want to encourage people to keep trying and that I understand that it’s a process to get used to." [ami-related id="3336" url="https://www.usmagazine.com/entertainment/pictures/demi-lovato-through-the-years-2011287/" title="Demi Lovato Through the Years" target="_blank" thumb="false" imgsrc="https://www.usmagazine.com/wp-content/uploads/2019/08/demi-Lovato-through-the-years.jpg?quality=70&strip=all" imgid="1587254" format="gallery" flag="" channel="9"] The former Disney star, who previously came out as pansexual in March 2021, added that she formed close bonds with her friends in the LGBTQIA+ community. "I used to identify family as blood-related, and now my queer family has become more family than friends," Lovato explained on Audacy Check In. "And I feel like I now have two families. I have my blood relatives and then I have my queer family, and that family to me is the chosen family." The Sonny With a Chance alum was briefly engaged to soap opera actor Max Ehrich in 2020. The following year, she told Teen Vogue that their breakup was a blessing in disguise. “When I started getting older, I started realizing how queer I really am. This past year I was engaged to a man, and when it didn’t work, I was like, ‘This is a huge sign,’” she told the outlet in 2021. “I thought I was going to spend my life with someone. Now that I wasn’t going to, I felt this sense of relief that I could live my truth.” [ami-related id="1809348" url="https://www.usmagazine.com/celebrity-news/pictures/demi-lovato-and-max-ehrich-a-timeline-of-their-relationship/" title="Demi Lovato and Max Ehrich: The Way They Were" target="_blank" thumb="false" imgsrc="https://www.usmagazine.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/06/0-Demi-Lovato-and-Max-Ehrich-A-Timeline-of-Their-Relationship.jpg?quality=40&strip=all" imgid="1809336" format="gallery" flag="" channel="1"] Scroll down to find out everything Lovato has shared about her gender identity: [podcast_block]

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Coming Out

When announcing a change to they/them pronouns, Lovato wanted to help others who identify outside the gender binary. She has since announced that she has "adopted the pronouns of she/her again."

“I’m doing this for those out there that haven’t been able to share who they truly are with their loved ones. Please keep living in your truths and know I am sending so much love your way,” the "Heart Attack" musician wrote via Instagram in May 2021.

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Learning More

The New Mexico native reflected on how her upbringing affected her relationship with gender identity.

"Growing up in Dallas, Texas, in the South, being Christian, there were a lot of norms that were already pushed on to me when it came to sexuality and gender," Lovato told Jane Fonda during an interview for Fire Drill Friday in June 2021. "And I'm a very fluid person, I'm a very free spirited, open person."

Lovato explained that she initially weren't sure how to identify, but didn't want to make herself "smaller for the patriarchy."

The singer added, "So, there's been moments in my life that have been very confusing to me, you know being 10 years old, attracted to women and not knowing what that meant as a Christian and being raised in the South where that's not very open. You know, it's harder there." 

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Reflecting on the Experience

Lovato experienced an adjustment period after adopting new pronouns — and so did her loved ones. 

"Sometimes I still mess up myself," she mentioned during an interview on Audacy Check In in June 2021. "My friends have had a little harder time [getting] used to it actually, just because I think your friends are the ones that you’re more likely to be like, ‘Bitch.’ And so, I’m like, 'Look, you can still call me bitch.'"

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Making Progress

"I actually had come out to loved ones and friends, like, last year, but this year, I made it public," she shared during YouTube Pride 2021 in June. "I am grateful for the progress that my family members have made in using my pronouns, team members, friends."

For the singer, coming out to fans was a major step. 

"I felt it was really important for me to share that with the world," she explained. "I've been so open and honest with my truth to my fans. I felt holding it in any longer just didn't feel right, and I wanted to share that — my truth — with the world."

The positive reaction to her coming out has made the former X Factor judge feel even better about the journey.

"I love the conversation that it has begun to spark and I think that's really important. So I have officially changed my pronouns to they/them, and yeah, I feel better than ever," she concluded.

Credit: Courtesy Demi Lovato/Instagram

Misgendering

Lovato addressed being misgendered in a July 2021 Instagram post in honor of Nonbinary Awareness Week. “I felt the need to post this because I often find that the change in pronouns can be confusing for some, and difficult to remember for others. It’s all about your intention,” she captioned the image. “It’s important to me that you try, but if you make a mistake, it’s okay 😊🙏🏼💞 remember that I love you, and to keep going.” 

The image showed white text on a black background. “If you misgender me — that’s okay 🙏 I accidentally misgender myself sometimes!” the singer, who publicly began using they/them pronouns two months prior, explained. “It’s a huge transition to change the pronouns I’ve used for myself my entire life. And it’s difficult to remember sometimes!”

The “Dancing With the Devil” performer added that as long as fans “keep trying to respect my truth,” then eventually, “the shift will come naturally.” The "Sorry Not Sorry" singer concluded by thanking everyone for actively trying to adjust to their pronouns, noting, “I’m just grateful for your effort in trying to remember what means so much to my healing process.”

Credit: Courtesy of Max Ehrich/Instagram

The Engagement

Lovato opened up about the "dissolvement" of her engagement to Max Ehrich, which came to an end in September 2020. "I met someone and I got into this straight relationship, and that was great, but that led me to ignoring all the parts of myself that I didn't think were digestible for my partner at the time, who ended up becoming my fiancé," she told The 19th in August 2021.

Ending that relationship helped Lovato step fully into her identity. "I was able to stand on my own two feet without needing someone else to validate me or to make me feel accepted," she added. "And when I said goodbye to that relationship, I also said goodbye to everything that was holding me back from being my most authentic self."

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Lifelong Journey

In August 2021, the singer told The 19th that she didn't know what lay ahead on her journey of gender exploration.

"There might be a time where I identify as trans. I don't know what this looks like for me. There might be a time where I identify as non-binary and gender-nonconforming my entire life," Lovato said. "Or maybe there's a period of time when I get older that I identify as a woman, I don't know what that looks like, but for me, in this moment right now, this is how I identify."

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Living Freely

After coming out as non-binary, the “Confident” crooner opened about embracing her full self and living life openly.

"I've been doing very well. I had a lot of time during quarantine to self-reflect and learn a lot about who I am," the Texas native explained during a September 2021 appearance on the Today show. "I came out as non-binary in May and ever since then, it's just felt like my truth has been living my life as loudly as possible without a care in the world."

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Alone Time

"I've learned how to be alone. I think that at the beginning of [the coronavirus pandemic], I wasn't alone. A part of that situation was me not wanting to be alone and then I really came to terms with it," Lovato told Rolling Stone in February 2022. "Ever since I’ve been alone, I feel like I've learned more about myself. I've become more secure in the person that I am. It was just time that I needed to spend by myself because I feel like my whole life — well not my whole life, but ever since I started dating — I was always talking to somebody, or hooking up with someone, or in a relationship, and these past two years have been truly transformative for me."

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Feeling Feminine

The "OK Not to Be OK" singer shared that she had "actually adopted the pronouns of she/her again" during an August 2022 appearance on "The Spout Podcast." Lovato said the change was the result of "recently ... feeling more feminine."