Jana Kramer’s Ex Ian Schinelli Details Her Alleged Patterns of ‘Toxicity,’ ‘Manipulation’: I Had to Cut People Out of My Life

Credit: Matt Baron/Shutterstock; Inset Courtesy of Ian Schinelli/Instagram

Jana Kramer’s Ex Ian Schinelli Details Her Alleged Patterns of ‘Toxicity,’ ‘Manipulation’: I Had to Cut People Out of My Life

His side of the story. Ian Schinelli is speaking out in an exclusive interview with Us Weekly following his breakup from Jana Kramer — and he isn’t mincing words. “I tried to remain silent,” Schinelli began, telling Us that he’s read “inaccurate” statements from Kramer about their relationship and split. “I didn't want to be known. I appreciated who she was and that's her world and I respected it and that's kind of where I wanted to stay. Obviously, with that relationship, I knew I was involved in some of it, which is completely fine.” The One Tree Hill alum confirmed her split from the former Navy Seal in April 2022 after six months of dating. “I walked away from her,” Schinelli told Us. “There were certain things that were not good for me. I had talked to a few people and realized that there was just a very strong, anxious attachment she has, and this may be due in part to her ex, which OK, be that as it may, it went on for the entire relationship. I got to a breaking point where I just could not handle it because I had tried — I truly did. I really do care about her, and I still do, but it got to a point where I had to walk away.” He continued: “Her patterns and toxicity. It's like, I literally cut off fuel in my life to make your life as easy as possible. I didn't ask for anything except for me to go to the gym. … I would try to do as much as possible around the house.” [jwplayer g3YSv9l7-zhNYySv2] Kramer is known for being candid about her past relationship with ex-husband Mike Caussin, sharing details of his sex addiction, cheating and her subsequent trust issues via her “Whine Down” podcast, Instagram and the former couple’s book. (Kramer and Caussin, who share two kids, split for good in April 2021.) Earlier this month, the “Why Ya Wanna” songstress said she was “emotionally exhausted” following her split from Schinelli. “When I truly love myself, I will never settle for things ever again. I give a lot of grace for people, and I understand people make mistakes. But there’s certain boundaries that I’ve just done such a bad job of sticking to,” she said on the “It Sure Is A Beautiful Day” podcast on May 10. “I disrespect myself in the process of staying in something that I know that’s not what I want out of someone. I don’t want to be with someone that just lied to me.” Schinelli, however, begs to differ. “Over the last couple of weeks, I've just seen all this, you know, articles about her, you know, being ‘emotionally exhausted.’ And it's funny because those are the words that I used and now I see her using it,” he claimed. “It was comical. I had said that. … I'm in such a better place in my life right now.” “I’m not trying to hurt her,” he continued. “I just wish she would stop saying that she's healing or that she's trying to help other people who have trauma or, you know, she's happy alone. She’s not. She has anxious attachment. And until she actually is happy alone, she'll never be happy.” While Schinelli told Us that it didn’t “bother him” that Kramer would post about their romance via Instagram or talk about their relationship on “Whine Down,” he admitted: “Jana from Michigan is pretty f—king great. The Jana from Hollywood is a different story.” In response to her ex's claims, Kramer went into detail about why she's been hesitant to open up about their split. "The reason I haven't said anything further on this breakup was because Ian lied about cheating on his ex wife and I was trying to protect her. She has become a friend of mine and I was trying to protect her privacy, but she has now given me permission to speak on her behalf," she claimed in a statement to Us. "Ian is angry because all of his lies have been figured out and is now twisting the story." She continued, "I have since found out from many women I was not the only one during our relationship, but I'm happily moving on with my life and I hope for him to do the same." When asked to comment on the cheating allegations, Schinelli told Us, "I apologized to my ex-wife and owned my mistakes. ... Jana is hurt and is using it against me." Scroll through for more from Schinelli:

Credit: Courtesy of Jana Kramer/Instagram

Jana Asked Him to Move In 1 Month Into Romance

“She asked me to move in within a month,” Schinelli alleged to Us, despite Kramer’s public claims she didn’t want to move too quickly. “She’s, like, talking about getting engaged within a year. … [Now] I’m thinking, ‘Well, this is the pattern because you got married four times.’ Everything's a shotgun thing. I would have to kind of hold some reservation, like, I can't do that. I can't just jump into it.”

Credit: Courtesy Ian Schinelli/Instagram

Ian Claims He Wasn’t Allowed to Be Around Other Females

Schinelli told Us that Kramer would “give me guilt trips” during their relationship.

“[She’d be like], ‘Hey, you don't need to go back to the gym. Why do you have to go back there? Why can't you just work out here? Why don't we just do this?’ It was this very low-key manipulative nature that she would have,” he said. “And I don't know if it stems from her past. I mean, it definitely does. I can't deny that. … She would say stuff to me to try and make me feel bad about doing anything that I enjoyed. I was like, ‘Aright, well, I’ll sacrifice some of that.’”

He also told Us that he “truly cut off everybody in my life for a five, six-month period” during their romance.

“I was not allowed to be around other females,” he alleged. “I was constantly asked why I was going here. Or if I went to the gym, why am I going back to the gym? Why do I need to go back a second time?”

Credit: Courtesy of Jana Kramer/Instagram

Jana Wanted to Track Ian’s Phone

“Most of the time, I would try to work at her place because it was it made her feel safe. … I’d go back to my place every so often or I'd go into the office, and it was like, ‘Hey, when are you coming back?’ Like, I don't need to be asked these things. I'm trying to work,” Schinelli, who works for a mergers and acquisitions company, told Us. “It was just an inquiry of doing all these things. … I volunteered to let her track my phone so she wouldn't have [to] ask me and she's like, ‘No, I don't need to do that. It's unnecessary.’ And a couple weeks later, it's like, ‘Hey, how about you download this app so I know where you're going.’ … This was a few months in, but I said, ‘Why now? I've done absolutely nothing wrong in any capacity.’ And she goes, ‘Well, how come before you said it was OK?’ I'm like, again, it was, but now it's under your control. It's under your timeline. And that's how a lot of the stuff went.”

Credit: Michael Simon/startraksphoto.com

Ian Ended the Relationship, Claims Jana ‘Lies’ to Her Therapists

“There is zero chance I'd get back with her. And I say that with a lot of love for her, I really do,” he told Us. “You keep manipulating people the same way – friends or, you know, relationships. Therapy's not working. … You're telling therapists a certain version and they're just responding into it that way. She has told me she has lied to literally every therapist she's been with. So again, they can only do so much with it and work with what you're giving her, but like it's clearly not working. So don't tell me that — because I broke up with you and walked away, you all of a sudden had [a] realization [of] what you were doing. So it doesn't make any sense cause I'm sure she said that to everybody else.”

Schinelli further claimed that Kramer’s inner circle goes to the same therapist. “[Jana’s] best friend, who I just found out from somebody else, she's basically convinced to get a divorce from her husband,” he alleged.  

Credit: Paul A Hebert/Shutterstock

Jana Wrote a 3-Page Letter Trying to Get Back Together

According to Schinelli, Kramer left him a three-page letter when he went to pick up his motorcycle from her house after their split.

“A lot of it centers around the fact that she wants to feel chosen, which anybody does. I can understand that everybody does — male or female,” he told Us. “The thing is I did. I cut off every person that I had been talking to. … I had kind of gone on that path. I wanted to take on , like, not necessarily her lifestyle, but her friends and be involved with the things that she was doing. And we both had kids. And so I tried to get back into that ‘family aspect.’ I lost a little bit of myself, but I was trying to cater to what she needs so that she felt comfortable the entire time.”

Schinelli added that “her entire letter is about us getting back together,” claiming she also emailed his best friend about them getting back together.

“I have a 45-minute voice recording of me walking out of her house and saying, 'I can't do this anymore.’ But however, she's the one that goes on all these publications, because I know she needs the attention. It's a ratings thing,” he said. “I mean, I get it, but it's also f—king sad. Like you could have just said, ‘Hey, we split. I wish him the best and everything would've been fine.’ But now she's going down a path that I truly wish she would realize is not a good one.”

Credit: imageSPACE/Shutterstock

Jana Contacted Ian’s Daughter’s Mother

“She’s still reaching out to people in my life. After us breaking up, she's still texting my mom saying, ‘Happy mother's day.’ She's texting my stepmom saying, ‘Happy mother's day.’ She's still reaching out to people that she does not know. People that I had been with, you know, ‘dated,’” he alleged to Us.

Schinelli added that Kramer wanted to reach out to the mother of his daughter, but his ex declined. Following their breakup, however, he claims Kramer has been hanging out with his ex.

“Nobody's actually friends with her. It's a manipulation tactic,” he said. “It's what she does. Again, she has reached out to people in my past and she has reached out to a lot of people in Mike's past.”

Credit: Jordan Strauss/Invision/AP/Shutterstock

Mike Caussin Isn’t Allowed on Social Media

“Mike wanted talk to me when he found out we were dating why I said, ‘OK, we can talk.’ … As a father, I can understand I'm in his kids' lives,” Schinelli told Us, claiming that Kramer told him the former spouses had an “agreement” that he wasn’t allowed to have social media amid his sex addiction struggles. “But as far as coparenting, all I can really say is that, you know, they see each other at soccer. That's all I know.” 

Reporting by Diana Cooper