Amanda “Mandy” Karolkiewicz revealed her husband, Kristopher Karolkiewicz, had grown “frustrated” with her because she was unable to get over his affair with an intern two years before he killed her and their six kids in an apparent murder-suicide.
In a 2024 post featured in the subreddit “AsOneAfterInfidelity,” Mandy, 39, admitted she was “frustrated” that her husband’s affair still made her “angry/mad” despite it happening years earlier.
“For instance, a year or so after DDay, I was crying expressing how weird and frustrating that this random girl across the country, who I should have no clue about her existence, is such a traumatic and permanent character in my story,” she wrote.
She added that Kristopher, 47, was “frustrated” and she was “letting her have that power in my life” and that she should not let the woman he had an affair with “have that place in my life.”’
“It was enraging. No, YOU should not have given her that place in my story,” Mandy continued. “He doesn’t get ‘mad’ per say, just more frustrated that it’s STILL sometime [sic] I carry despite his changes and growth.”
Earlier in the conversation, Mandy said that someone who has been cheated on will always have that experience “etched in his brain permanently as trauma.”
“He can heal, and become healthy again, as can you. Your marriage will never be ‘like before.’ However, even decades later he can and most likely WILL become triggered by something, and you have to be willing to support him through those triggers decades from now,” she wrote. “For instance, my grandfather cheated on my grandma when they were in their 30’s. Forty years later, she would still have an occasional trigger where she’d be angry and hurt and she’d have to move through it with his support. You have GOT to be willing to be there, and still hear about this pain, for the rest of your life. Not as frequently, but it will still occasionally come up.”
Mandy went on to say that “safety after betrayal looks much different than safety before.”
“For me, ‘safety’ is the ability to trust that my [wayward husband] will not get angry or defensive when I’m triggered, and will help to carry me through it. We’re almost five years out, and he’s trying, but still struggles with defensiveness,” she wrote. “But in general, am I happy? Yes. I wouldn’t say I feel safety in my emotions, because he still struggles with receiving my triggers without defensiveness, and that’s slowing down my ability to regain feelings of safety.”
Mandy’s Reddit posts have circulated online after police confirmed that Kristopher fatally shot her and their six children before he set their house on fire in an apparent murder-suicide on Friday, July 24.
Following the killings, a woman called 911 to report that their home was “full of smoke.”
If you or someone you know is struggling or in crisis, help is available. Call or text 988 or chat at 988lifeline.org.
If you or someone you know is experiencing domestic violence, please call the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-7233 for confidential support.
