A bride’s wedding day should be the happiest day of her life. Only if she’s not Revenge‘s Emily Thorne (Emily VanCamp), who is marrying the son of her nemesis and eventually framing his mother for her own murder. Just an average day in the life of a pretty blonde sociopath hell-bent on avenging her father’s death. See more pics of the Revenge cast here!
Fortunately, the ABC drama’s third season has returned to its backstabbing roots following a lackluster sophomore installment. The mid-season finale of Revenge already had a leg up on last season’s, which featured the wedding of Amanda Clarke and Jack Porter followed by Mandy’s untimely-yet-thoroughly-predictable death.
New showrunner Sunil Nayar avoided the speculation this season by showing Ems getting shot in the stomach while wearing her wedding dress in the premiere episode, leaving only the question of who pulled the trigger.
[WARNING: SPOILERS AHEAD]
When Victoria Grayson (Madeleine Stowe) initially chooses to forego the nuptials, Ems tries every means possible to get the Wicked Witch of the Hamptons to don her wine-colored gown, including enlisting her future nemesis-in-law, Conrad Grayson (Henry Czerny). And in the words of the Ice Queen, “When Conrad reaches out, be careful what’s in his hand.”
Connie effortlessly manages to find Vicki’s “safely hidden” son Patrick (Justin Hartley), who was sent to the far off land of Manhattan, and bring him back to the Hamptons to convince his begrudging bride to attend Daniel’s big day. Pat and Vicki’s creepy relationship is as disturbing as ever, as she clings to him in her nightie. And this time it’s Nolan Ross (Gabriel Mann) who is rejected by his former lover, who is far more loyal to his mother than the fashion-forward former geek.
Meanwhile, the Holy Trinity — Emily, Nolan, and Aiden, that is — are planning their “fool proof” set up for framing Victoria for Emily’s murder. They’re going to lock Vicki in a room while Emily fires shots on the deck and jumps overboard. Seriously, this plan has more holes than a Nicki Minaj outfit.
So with her mission set, Ems schleps to Montauk to say her final goodbye at The Stowaway to Jack Porter (Nick Wechsler). Naturally, their parting turns into a middle school shout fest about Emily ruining his life, and Jack just, like, totally not getting it!
And before you know it, the big day was upon us. In the words of Emily Thorne, “Let’s do it!”
Of course, before she took her trip down the aisle on Nolan’s arm (sob), she had to make out with with Aiden in a room where literally anyone could have walked in on her. But their tryst went uninterrupted, and Ems and Danny got to say their “I do’s,” complete with an emotional flashback scene to the wronged David Clarke.
But the waterworks don’t hit until Nolan takes Emily’s hand on the dance floor to say goodbye to his best friend and partner in crime. Declaring allegiance to David Clarke one last time, he drops Emily’s hand and walks away, seemingly forever. And the world may never recover.
But Ems has bigger fish to fry. She’s only hours away from setting off on the yacht of terrors and there are two big kinks in her plan — Patrick the mommy lover and Conrad’s ex-flame, Lydia Davis (Amber Valetta), who has evidence of Emily’s true identity and is blackmailing her to get back her beach house. When Conrad realizes Lydia’s true feelings, there’s no stopping the two from becoming the Hamptons’ new force to be reckoned with.
Connie invites her aboard the yacht to ride off into the sunset (and impending doom), much to Emily’s dismay. And Nolan keeps Pattie Cakes occupied with yet another tearful and frankly embarrassing display of affection.
Despite these minor setbacks, Emily’s plan is going off without a hitch until Lydia joins Victoria in a private room to show her the old photograph that sheds insight into Ems’ true identity.
Enraged, the Ice Queen confronts Ems on the deck, but is quickly chloroformed by Aiden and dragged off in time for Daniel to announce that he’d heard every word of their heated argument, including Ems confessing to faking her pregnancy. After years of falling for this blond manipulator, a drunken Danny feels he’s been thoroughly duped, which, you know, he has. He’s just found out that his lovesick ex-girlfriend tried to kill herself, and, well, the timing isn’t exactly ideal for his new bride.
And Emily’s fake bun in the oven was the last straw. He pulls a gun on his new bride, and fires two warning shots … into her stomach. Gasp!
Is this the end for Ms. Thorne? Think again! Though Jack and Aiden uncover her blood-stained wedding gown before the camera cuts to black, the preview for the second half of the season shows us that our resourceful Revenger survives the attack, though she apparently has no recollection of the events or who she is.
All in all, a thoroughly successful way to continue the show despite this mid-season finale’s feeling of finality. What’s next on the Revengenda? Guess you’ll have to tune in on Jan. 5 to find out!
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