“He’s not in a good headspace, and I hate to see him struggle,” Tamra, 52, said. “I feel like he’s at a point in his life when he’s just numb to life. When Ryan gets overloaded with things, he just kind of shuts down. He’s at that point in his life right now where he’s not happy, and I want to see him happy.”
The Bravo personality broke down in tears and grabbed a tissue box as she recalled being pregnant with Ryan when she was 17 years old and still in high school. She married Ryan’s father, Darren Vieth, but they eventually separated, leaving her to raise Ryan on her own.
“I think I had a lot of resentment growing up,” Ryan admitted on Tuesday’s episode. “I didn’t have the worst life, but the older I get, the more I see how my brother, my sisters are growing up. I think a bit of me inside is angry about it.”
After divorcing Darren in 1990, Tamra met her second husband, Simon Barney, and they tied the knot in 1998. They welcomed Sidney, 20, Spencer, 18, and Sophia, 13, before splitting in 2011. Tamra is now married to Eddie Judge.
“I carry guilt because I feel like I let [Ryan] down,” she told her eldest child’s therapist. “I look at my kids now and the opportunities that they have. I have two kids in college now. Ryan, he ran out of the house at 18 because he couldn’t stand his stepdad.”
Ryan wrote down some of his troubles as part of the therapy session, revealing that feels like a “bad person” who is “worthless … can’t succeed, powerless” and does not “matter.”
“I struggled with depression, I was sad, I had no self-worth. To hear Ryan say that, it scares me,” Tamra said as she cried. “I worry that one day Ryan might commit suicide. That’s my biggest fear.”
By the end of the session, Tamra told Ryan that he is a “good dad” to his young daughter, Ava, despite being “so troubled by his past.”
The Real Housewives of Orange County airs on Bravo Tuesdays at 9 p.m. ET.
If you or someone you know is in emotional distress or considering suicide, call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-TALK (8255).
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