“It was very emotionally intense for me. My first initial reaction was to help Cate,” he revealed on the “Reality Life with Kate Casey” podcast on Friday, September 28. “I ran to her, held her. We cried. We just held each other for probably two hours and cried. That was our way of kind of letting go and accepting reality for what it is.”
Following the miscarriage, Lowell, 26, entered treatment to cope with her struggle with depression. That meant that Baltierra had to manage on his own while also taking care of their 3-year-old daughter Novalee.
“I was breaking down every single day driving to drop Nova to school,” the clothing designer said. “I was taking Nova to school and just crying every single day. I’m assuming a lot of women do the same thing, It’s just not really talked about a lot with men.”
While it was a “devastating” experience for the reality star, the one thing that got him through was his daughter.
“Seeing Nova, I realized that I can’t sit here and sulk in my pity. I’ve gotta be strong, engage with my daughter, play with her, take her to the park. I still had a job to do of raising her around the happiest environment I could make for her,” he revealed. “I kind of felt that she was my motivation to keep strong, looking at her and saying, ‘I did lose this child, but look at this beautiful child I’ve got now.’ She helped me push myself forward and keep going. It was a responsibility of mine.”
He also noted that he had to find a balance between showing Nova that he, too, missed Lowell while also guarding her from too much negativity.
“I’d put Nova to bed then I’d go in my room and cry about it. I’d deal with it behind closed doors and make the environment for Nova as peaceful and calm as possible,” he said. “I don’t think parents should hide their emotions for their kids because I think it’s important to show them that, ‘Hey, we’re human. It’s OK, you can cry, you can be upset about things.’ But I didn’t to do it overboard with her, especially with her going through Cate not being there.”
However, every storm has a rainbow. Earlier this month, Lowell and Baltierra revealed exclusively to Us Weekly that they are expecting another child.
Teen Mom OG premieres on MTV Monday, October 1, at 9 p.m. ET.
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