Wonka earns 2.5 stars (out of 4) from Us Weekly movie critic Mara Reinstein.
Ladies and gentlemen! Boys and girls! Come with me and you’ll be in a world … in which Timothée Chalamet enjoys good ol’ singing and dancing while doing magic, making chocolate and fighting human trafficking.
Welcome to Wonka, a big-hearted yet ho-hum film that explores how the iconic character came to run his cavity-inducing candy empire. The quickie summary is that young Willy set off on his own and then fought a local chocolate cartel in his quest to establish his factory. But we’re not really here for probing insight into the mind and actions of a fictional chocolatier during his salad days, right?
Now let’s address the real answers to your pressing curiosities:
Yes, Chalamet — an alum of the famous LaGuardia High School of Music & Art and Performing Arts in New York City — performs like a pro. He’s having oodles of fun, and the joy bounces off the screen.
No, the seven new songs will not become generational classics, let alone resonate deep into 2024. Weeks after seeing it, you’ll be hard-pressed to recall a single melody.
Yes, the movie is appropriate for small children. Though Chalamet’s first in-character photo in 2021 generated snarky jokes about young Willy’s brooding sex appeal, he exudes charming wholesome goodness. Phew.
No, the movie isn’t nearly as mean-spirited as Tim Burton’s strange Charlie & The Chocolate Factory in 2005. It doesn’t capture the enthralling and delightfully mischievous appeal of the 1971’s Willy Wonka & The Chocolate Factory, either.
So yes, this middling family pick delivers on its sweet intentions and will get the job done during a long holiday break. But given all the talent involved in front and behind the camera, the non-PG set will likely walk away unsatisfied.
FYI, the Willy Wonka origin story isn’t derived from Roald Dahl-authored source material. Learn for the first time that wide-eyed Willy muddled through a melancholic childhood. His kindly British mom (Sally Hawkins) departed too soon — though not without imparting the gift of chocolate and a reminder that the best part of eating sweets is “sharing it with those you love.”
Wide-eyed Willy enthusiastically lands in a quaint little city, cane and top hat in tow, and looks to set up shop to hawk his prized chocolate. His democratic approach: Make candy affordable to all. This does not sit well at all with the more established proprietors who want him out. Keegan-Michael Key’s bumbling police chief waterboards him and warns, “Do not sell chocolate in this town!” (He then proceeds to eat the treats anyway, leading to a barrage of eye-rolling fat gags.)
Adding to Willy’s hardship, he’s stuck at a boarding house run by mean shopkeeper Mrs. Scrubitt (Olivia Colman). Channeling Miss Hannigan, the evil missus forces her unhappy guests to cook and do manual labor in the bowels of her establishment without ever allowing them to leave. Each morning, Willy must find a way to escape her clutches before returning at night.
All this set-up is perfectly pleasant. What’s a proper kiddie tale without an array of colorful villains, no? Alas, the writers also stick Willy with a cute sidekick. In a Disney movie, insert a talking animal or animated object; here, it’s a precocious street-smart kid named Noodle (newcomer Calah Lane). Noodle boasts her own Annie-like sob story — and, too often, the film never lets us forget it. While harmless in theory, the friendship distracts from Willy’s narrative and doesn’t track in the big picture. We know how this turns out! The man grows up to be a reclusive loner!
Don’t argue that Wonka should be able to take creative liberties so it can stand on its own. A moot point when its inarguable highlight is a nostalgic call-back in the form of Hugh Grant’s impish Oompa Loompa. Every time the little chocolate-stealer and scene-stealer launches into his rendition of “The Oompa Loompa Song,” the movie practically winks at its audience and then breaks out into a content smile. There’s supposed to be comfort in familiarity; not relief.
These flaws might not bother eager younger viewers. After all, Wonka is the work of Paddington and Paddington 2 director Paul King. Once again, he’s crafted a world with endearing musicality, gifted British actors (Rowan Atkinson pops up too), lovely costumes and storybook-looking sets. Ironically, only a peek inside Wonka’s candy factory looks artificial and computer-generated. (By comparison, the chocolate room was the real deal in the ’71 original.)
And yet this is not your golden ticket to cinematic greatness. Just like Willy Wonka’s future headquarters, everything — from the tone to the performance numbers — is just little a bit askew and needs fixing. Perhaps some people’s histories are just better left to our pure imagination.
Wonka opens in theaters on Friday, December 15.
