Matt James Didn’t Know He Was the 1st Black Bachelor When He Accepted the Gig and More ‘First Impressions’ Revelations

Credit: ABC/Maarten de Boer

Matt James Didn’t Know He Was the 1st Black Bachelor When He Accepted the Gig and More ‘First Impressions’ Revelations

Life after the final rose proved to be more challenging than expected for Matt James, but the former Bachelor is ready to share his side of the story in his new book, First Impressions: Off Screen Conversations with a Bachelor on Race, Family, and Forgiveness. “It's been such a crazy journey to that point,” the 30-year-old former reality TV star said on Us Weekly’s “Here for the Right Reasons” podcast ahead of the memoir’s Tuesday, May 3, release. “I couldn't be better. I’m healthy, which is the biggest blessing, and I'm in a great headspace. I'm in a great relationship. I recently moved down to Miami and it's allowed me to reallocate my time, energy and resources on things that are most important to my life.” Bachelor Nation officially met James when his season debuted in January 2021. He made history as the first Black Bachelor — something he wasn’t aware of when he accepted the gig in June 2020 — and for being one of the only leads that had never been part of the franchise. (While he was set to compete on Clare Crawley’s season 16 of The Bachelorette in 2020, production was shut down amid the coronavirus pandemic.) “I wasn't really asking the right questions or, I guess, I didn't think that was something that hadn't been done. It’s 2022, I didn't think that that was something that we hadn't crossed yet,” James told Us of admitting he didn’t know he was the first Black male lead in the show’s decades-long history. “I've seen a bunch of Black people come through the franchise that I guess I assumed [there had been a Black Bachelor].” James was living with Bachelorette alum Tyler Cameron in Florida when ABC reached out to him weeks after Crawley’s season was put on hold. [jwplayer TZCE35Rc-zhNYySv2] “Initially, I thought it was a prank call because it was in the middle of COVID and I was living in a quarantine house with all my friends, and we were all just messing around at the time,” he recalled to Us. “So when you got calls like that, you kind of took it with a grain of salt. You're like, ‘All right, whatever.’ And then when they follow it up, I'm like, ‘Oh, snap.’” Days after he agreed to be the Bachelor, James learned how historic the season was being billed to be. “I didn't accept the role to be the savior. My sole focus was finding someone that I could spend the rest of my life with and fall in love with and just looking for that in my life because I was missing it,” James told Us. “And it wasn't until after I accepted it that I really felt the weight of, you know, everyone's expectations on my journey. And I'm like, ‘I wonder if anyone else has felt this stepping into a role like this.’ And they hadn't because it was at the right time in the country where we were going through everything that we were going through from a racial standpoint — [and] still are going through. It really dawned on me a couple [of] days after or just as time approached [to film] the show, like, people telling me what I had to do and what I should do. And I'm like, ‘I hadn't even got there yet. What are y'all talking about?’” In the end, James picked Rachael Kirkconnell, but their relationship was plagued with scandal after photos of her at a Rose Ball Formal on a plantation in college resurfaced. After longtime host Chris Harrison asked for “grace” for Kirkconnell while the season was airing, he came under fire and ABC cut ties with him. While James addresses his reaction to the controversy in the book (and explains how he and the Georgia native got back together), he left out the Harrison drama. “We spent enough time talking about that stuff. I hate beating a dead horse and everything's played out how it's played out and there's no need to go back [to] something that we've talked so much about because unfortunately, those type of conversations overshadowed context that I would've liked to have been applied to the season that would've answered a bunch of questions,” James told Us. “They had things that I talked about and discussed and went into in-depth in my dates and on group dates and on one-on-ones that never aired. So I didn't wanna take any more time to talk about that stuff. I wanted to focus on themes that I felt could really help people and I don't think that going back on that would be any help to anybody.” First impressions is available now. Scroll through for more:

Credit: ABC/Maarten de Boer

Matt James Didn’t Know He Was the 1st Black Bachelor When He Accepted the Gig and More ‘First Impressions’ Revelations

Life after the final rose proved to be more challenging than expected for Matt James, but the former Bachelor is ready to share his side of the story in his new book, First Impressions: Off Screen Conversations with a Bachelor on Race, Family, and Forgiveness. “It's been such a crazy journey to that point,” the 30-year-old former reality TV star said on Us Weekly’s “Here for the Right Reasons” podcast ahead of the memoir’s Tuesday, May 3, release. “I couldn't be better. I’m healthy, which is the biggest blessing, and I'm in a great headspace. I'm in a great relationship. I recently moved down to Miami and it's allowed me to reallocate my time, energy and resources on things that are most important to my life.” Bachelor Nation officially met James when his season debuted in January 2021. He made history as the first Black Bachelor — something he wasn’t aware of when he accepted the gig in June 2020 — and for being one of the only leads that had never been part of the franchise. (While he was set to compete on Clare Crawley’s season 16 of The Bachelorette in 2020, production was shut down amid the coronavirus pandemic.) “I wasn't really asking the right questions or, I guess, I didn't think that was something that hadn't been done. It’s 2022, I didn't think that that was something that we hadn't crossed yet,” James told Us of admitting he didn’t know he was the first Black male lead in the show’s decades-long history. “I've seen a bunch of Black people come through the franchise that I guess I assumed [there had been a Black Bachelor].” James was living with Bachelorette alum Tyler Cameron in Florida when ABC reached out to him weeks after Crawley’s season was put on hold. [jwplayer TZCE35Rc-zhNYySv2] “Initially, I thought it was a prank call because it was in the middle of COVID and I was living in a quarantine house with all my friends, and we were all just messing around at the time,” he recalled to Us. “So when you got calls like that, you kind of took it with a grain of salt. You're like, ‘All right, whatever.’ And then when they follow it up, I'm like, ‘Oh, snap.’” Days after he agreed to be the Bachelor, James learned how historic the season was being billed to be. “I didn't accept the role to be the savior. My sole focus was finding someone that I could spend the rest of my life with and fall in love with and just looking for that in my life because I was missing it,” James told Us. “And it wasn't until after I accepted it that I really felt the weight of, you know, everyone's expectations on my journey. And I'm like, ‘I wonder if anyone else has felt this stepping into a role like this.’ And they hadn't because it was at the right time in the country where we were going through everything that we were going through from a racial standpoint — [and] still are going through. It really dawned on me a couple [of] days after or just as time approached [to film] the show, like, people telling me what I had to do and what I should do. And I'm like, ‘I hadn't even got there yet. What are y'all talking about?’” In the end, James picked Rachael Kirkconnell, but their relationship was plagued with scandal after photos of her at a Rose Ball Formal on a plantation in college resurfaced. After longtime host Chris Harrison asked for “grace” for Kirkconnell while the season was airing, he came under fire and ABC cut ties with him. While James addresses his reaction to the controversy in the book (and explains how he and the Georgia native got back together), he left out the Harrison drama. “We spent enough time talking about that stuff. I hate beating a dead horse and everything's played out how it's played out and there's no need to go back [to] something that we've talked so much about because unfortunately, those type of conversations overshadowed context that I would've liked to have been applied to the season that would've answered a bunch of questions,” James told Us. “They had things that I talked about and discussed and went into in-depth in my dates and on group dates and on one-on-ones that never aired. So I didn't wanna take any more time to talk about that stuff. I wanted to focus on themes that I felt could really help people and I don't think that going back on that would be any help to anybody.” First impressions is available now. Scroll through for more:

Credit: ABC/Edward Herrera;ABC/Craig Sjodin

On Clare Crawley Slamming Him

James addressed Crawley’s April 2020 tweets about him for the first time in the book. “If you are doing interviews and creating Cameo accounts before you are even on my season… you are in it for the wrong reasons… #dontwasteyourtime,” she wrote at the time. While she didn’t name names, James was on the app to raise money for charity with one of his friends, New York Giants’ wide receiver Alex Bachman.

“The sentiment backfired. On Twitter, Bachelor Nation quickly pounced, rushing to point out the worthy cause our work benefitted,” he wrote. “I appreciated their support, but it was hard to take any positives away from the tiff. I hadn’t met Clare, yet I still held out hope that, once the world was back up and running, there might be chemistry for us to discover.”

James told Us on the “Here for the Right Reasons” podcast that he still hasn’t met Crawley. “I've never spoken to her my entire life,” he said, noting that he included the story in the book not to be “shady” but because he doesn’t know if he would’ve become the Bachelor without the pre-show headlines. “To be judged by her or anybody to judge somebody on what they think about someone without meeting them, I don't think is the right way to go about getting to know somebody.”

Credit: Gregory Pace/Shutterstock

On Accepting the Bachelor Gig

“I didn’t know my decision would be a groundbreaking one. I hadn’t watched the show before. I hadn’t even thought much of the show before. If pressed, I would have assumed that a Black man had been chosen as the lead in the past,” he wrote, noting that he learned he was the first Black Bachelor “more than a week” after signing on. “Hadn’t it been on air forever? Surely at least one brother had led the franchise. That thought would quickly be proven wrong!”

After agreeing to be the Bachelor, James recalled having very “tactical” conversations with producers, including notes that the show had “Bachelor Nation” not “fans.” He also revealed that he nearly ruined his shot when he missed an important meeting with the show because he didn’t make it back from a boat trip in time for a Zoom meeting.

Credit: Earl Gibson/Shutterstock

On Being Disappointed From the Premiere

James wrote that he “barely recognized” himself when he watched his Bachelor premiere.

“This had been billed as ‘my’ season, but it wasn’t, not really at least,” he wrote. “I thought I was in the driver’s seat. I didn’t remember handing over ownership of my story; but watching the premiere, it was clear that I had. The producers would craft my story now.”

Credit: Stephen Lovekin/Shutterstock

On the ‘Inauthentic Dramatic Twists’

James noted he “deeply appreciated” the women who opened up to him, but couldn’t handle the “blatantly inauthentic dramatic twists that waited around every corner. ‘Stay tuned for…’ moments. Drama for drama’s sake,” he wrote. “I didn’t appreciate just how mean-spirited people could get with one another. The calculated conflicts wore on me.”

Credit: Joey Andrew/Startraks

On Connecting With Rachael on the Show

James revealed that he wanted to spend all his time with Kirkconnell “early in the process” and knew he was going to pick her before the finale.

“In the beginning, she cut through the polished front I’d honed and into my nerdy side,” he wrote. “We debated who was the bigger fan of How to Train Your Dragon and Marvel movies. I observed her empathy from afar, noticed how her kindness extended beyond our time alone and to everyone else she encountered. I listened to how she spoke about her family. Conversations deepened after that. I discussed the troubled legacy I felt I had been handed. I told her about my own reservations about falling in love, for fear of history repeating itself.”

James wrote that Kirkconnell “cared for my wounds” and “exposed hers in return.”

Credit: Michael Simon/Startraks

On Finding Out About Rachael’s Scandal

James found out about the photos of Kirkconnell on the news in his NYC apartment. “They declared Rachael a racist,” he wrote, recalling her calling him immediately. While he initially said he wouldn’t let “gossip” affect his feelings for her, the photo started to remind him of “wrestling with how to move through the world in my Black body” and navigating racism during his own college experience.

He added that the following days are “a blur” as his “reputation shifted in the minds of many” and his family, friends and people from his past reached out. “Rachael suffered, seeing every past mistake, down to the minute, paraded across headlines. …  During that period, the show’s host gave one of the worst interviews in modern memory. The scandal escalated. The walls closed in,” he wrote, adding that he retreated to Cameron’s house in Florida.

Credit: Courtesy of Rachael Kirkconnell/Instagram

On Rachael and Race

James admitted he was “naive” when he thought one conversation the twosome had on the show about being an interracial couple — “love could withstand temporary judgment” — was enough.

“I didn’t anticipate just how divisive we would become,” he wrote. “But more than the external perception, I didn’t recognize the role that race would play between the two of us.”

Credit: ABC/Craig Sjodin

On Breaking Up Before ‘After the Final Rose’

The twosome saw each other for the first time amid the scandal on Valentine’s Day weekend. “She didn’t know about the context of the party when she chose to attend; it was just another college event in her mind. She didn’t offer her ignorance as an excuse. Just a fact — she paired it with the facts of her remorse and regret,” he wrote. “Tears streamed down both our faces. She apologized for the pain I felt.”

While James wrote he “forgave” Kirkconnell, they hit pause on their romance and didn’t speak for weeks. They spoke again before After the Final Rose, but things were still strange when they reunited on stage.

“The entire conversation between us felt like it was in service of the viewers rather than each other. We caught people up. We remained noncommittal. We spoke in cold, curt sentences,” he wrote, noting he rocked his beard on stage as a way to be himself and not the man who felt he had to be Mr. America. “But when the cameras shut off, we strode hand in hand back to the green room. We both still felt the spark. We took the rare opportunity to speak face-to-face and agreed to keep working on us."

Credit: AFF-USA/Shutterstock

On Allegations He Cheated

As the pair navigated their next steps, a woman named Grace alleged that she was seeing James too. In the book, he admitted he “took advantage of our undefined, gray space and reconnected with former flings.” When Kirkconnell found out, she was hurt and felt betrayed, he explained. James recalled Kirkconnell telling him, “I know we’re not together right now, but I thought we were building toward something. You need to decide if that is what you want or not. I won’t be just another girl you’re talking to.”

Credit: Michael Simon/startraksphoto.com

On Getting Back Together With Rachael

James thought that he had seen the last of Kirkconnell after their fight in April 2021, but when he was in Atlanta for an event later that month, he got a notification that she was sharing her location with him. When James reached out, he learned that she had just unblocked him and didn’t know he was in town or wasn’t trying to contact him. While Kirkconnell shut down the idea of reconnecting at first, James “pleaded, coaxed and convinced” her to meet up in a parking garage.

“We talked for four hours in that car about all of the issues that had kept us apart—her mistakes, my mistakes, insecurities, family drama, public perception, and everything else under the sun,” he wrote. “I decided to be better going forward. She had done self-work that I hadn’t reciprocated. I promised her that I was all in. It was the best decision I could have made.”

Credit: MEGA

On His Relationship With His Family

In the book, James gets real about race, opening up about being raised by a white single mother and an absentee Black father. He wrote a lot about his relationship with his maternal grandfather, who he felt treated him and his brother, John, differently than his white cousins.

“Grandpa never told us he loved us. That bothered me more than any of the other petty acts,” he wrote. “If six different ‘I love yous’ rang out from six different grandchildren, only four were returned.”

His relationship with his dad has always been rocky, but got more difficult when he learned that he fathered two more children with two different women. Matt’s brother also had his own struggles, landing in jail after being part of a robbery at a Jersey Mike’s.