Kimberly Brown, the wife of former BYU football star Curtis Brown, has broken her silence after the couple’s son Haze, 2, drowned in the family’s pool last month.
“I miss my baby,” Kimberly shared via Instagram on Saturday, August 15. “I miss him so much it physically hurts. Our bright light and source of pure joy is gone. I’m writing this from the floor of his room, surrounded by his things. Looking at all the little pieces of him that are still everywhere. His clothes. His basketball hoop. His blanket. All the things that were just part of our everyday life.”
Haze died on July 26 after being found unresponsive in the family’s swimming pool at their home in Clovis, California. After first responders’ attempts to revive the infant were unsuccessful, he was taken to a local hospital and pronounced dead.
“I keep expecting to hear him,” Kimberly continued. “To see those soft curls bouncing as he runs. To hear his little laugh. To squeeze him tight. To kiss his cheeks. To tell him I love him. And then I remember. I don’t know how you survive this. I don’t know how I’m supposed to wake up every morning and live my worst nightmare. I don’t know how a heart is supposed to hold this much pain.”
Kimberly and Curtis — who played running back at BYU from 2002 to 2006, finishing his collegiate career as the leading rusher in school history — also share 13-year-old triplets Julie, Cruze and Kash and son Trey, 12.
“Haze was supposed to grow up with his brothers and sister,” Kimberly said. “He was supposed to run to them when they got home from school with the biggest hug. Sit on the sidelines and cheer them on. The boys were so excited to teach him everything they knew — to make him better than they were. He was supposed to keep making us laugh, dancing around, stealing sips of my Diet Coke, shooting baskets, and making our life better and brighter simply by being him. He was supposed to grow up knowing just how incredibly loved he was.”
The GoFundMe organized to financially support the Brown family called Haze the couple’s “miracle baby” and has raised over $100,000 at the time of publication.
“I want to watch him grow up,” Kimberly wrote. “I want to watch his siblings love him through every stage of his life. I want to hear his laugh when he’s 5, 10, 15. I want to watch him become whoever he was meant to be.”
She continued, “I want all the days. I want my baby back. I would give anything in this world for the life we were supposed to have.”
