Sharing her past. Before Clare Crawley entered Bachelor Nation in 2014, she went through a very dark time.
“There’s so much more background that I have never even talked about, even on that season of The Bachelor, that I held inside, that I didn’t share with the world,” the season 16 Bachelorette, 39, told hosts Rachel Lindsay and Becca Kufrin on the “Bachelor Happy Hour” podcast on June 23. “I didn’t even share with my friends.”
Crawley first appeared on Juan Pablo Galavis‘ season of The Bachelor, then went on to Bachelor in Paradise season 1 and season 2. In 2018, she competed on The Bachelor Winter Games and was briefly engaged to Benoit Beausejour-Savard.
However, she never revealed the dark moment in her past.
“At one point, I was living in my car for three months, and I barely had a job making minimum wage being a hairstylist’s assistant when I first started doing hair,” the reality star said. “I was in an abusive relationship, and I just had lost my dad, too, so I was at, I would feel, like, the lowest of lows.”
Crawley explained that she’s not holding back about anything now and wants to find her true love through the show.
“I want somebody to love me for all the hard stuff that I’ve been through,” the hairstylist shared. “It’s been something that I’ve hidden for so many years, but until I’ve owned that part of my life and looked at the stuff I’ve been through as shame — to look at it as my superpower — and these are the things that have made the woman that I am today.”
She added that now, she’s “a courageous woman” and is proud of that courage now.
“I want the man of my dreams to see the worst of me, to know the worst of me,” the California native added. “I want a man to love me for that, and not just for the easy makeup and hair. Anybody can love you for the easy fun times and the smiles and the laughs.”
Crawley’s season of The Bachelorette was set to begin filming in March but was delayed due to the coronavirus pandemic. During the podcast, she revealed that she was just given a date for when filming will begin, which she teased is “very, very soon.”