Day by day. Billie Lourd opened up about how things have changed five years after the death of her mom, Carrie Fisher.
“People always ask me what stage of grief I’m in. And my answer is never simple. I’m in a different stage of grief in each moment of every day,” the Booksmart actress, 29, wrote via Instagram on Sunday, December 26, alongside a childhood photo. “My grief is a multi course meal with many complicated ingredients. An amuse bouche of bargaining followed by an anger appetizer with a side of depression, acceptance for the entree and of course a little denial for dessert.”
Lourd continued: “And that’s how grief should be – all things all at once – actually there is no ‘should’ in grief – grief just is whatever it is for you and that is how it ‘should be.'”
The Star Wars icon died on December 27, 2016, after suffering a heart attack. Lourd clarified for her social media followers that her tribute was right on time from where she’s staying in Australia.
“Ps for anyone wondering why I’m posting this on the 26th it’s the 27th here down unda (aka Tomorrowland),” she wrote. “So what better thing to post for my Momby’s Australian death anniversary (4 words I never thought I’d be putting next to each other?!?) than this picture of her and I with a koala!? ❤️sending my love to anyone out there who needs it 💕ℹ️ Ⓜ️ℹ️💲💲 🌱🅾️⛎ Ⓜ️🅾️Ⓜ️🅱️🌱💕.”
Lourd continued the memorial via her Instagram Stories, sharing a snap of herself riding a waterslide. “My momby loved a good water park ❤️ best way to spend her day today ❤️,” she wrote on Sunday.
In subsequent Instagram Stories, the Scream Queens alum shared a Macy Gray song in honor of the first concert she attended with the late actress, and gave a glimpse of a risotto recipe, which was one of Fisher’s favorites.
“And of course a little [of] Momby’s favorite dessert: Baskin Robbins Cookies and cream ❤️,” Lourd concluded.
One day after the When Harry Met Sally star passed away, her mom, Debbie Reynolds, died of a stroke. Lourd, who welcomed son Kingston with Austen Rydell in September 2020, recently described trying “to avoid doing things in their shadow” as a third-generation Hollywood star.
“There’s this one [headline] where I said something, and it was, like, three months after [they] died,” the American Horror Story actress said on the “New Day” podcast in October. “I didn’t know what the f–k I was talking about or who the f–k I was or what was going on. And I said something like, ‘Well, now that they’re gone, I get to just be Billie.’ … It sounded like I like wanted them to die, and that is absolutely the opposite of what I wanted. I would do anything to get them back, but it sounded like I was excited to have the ‘Billie Show.'”
Lourd explained that she “wanted to make sure that people knew me separately” from her relatives, both of whom had lengthy careers. “Now I feel like I kind of I am kind of trying to do the opposite,” she added. “I try to connect myself to them because I miss them.”
