“I don’t know, it could be forever. I have no idea. I don’t know,” Teigen, 35, responded to TMZ on Tuesday, July 20, when asked if she could be canceled for a while. “I have decided I’m not getting involved in anyone’s s–t ever again.”
The cookbook author has been focusing on what is most important to her as she adjusts to her new normal.
“All I can do is live my life and take care of my kids and family. Everyone else can make their choice,” she noted.
“Iiiii don’t really know what to say here. Just feels so weird to pretend nothing happened in this online world but feel like utter s–t in real life,” the Utah native posted via Instagram on July 13. “Going outside sucks and doesn’t feel right, being at home alone with my mind makes my depressed head race. But I do know that however I’m handling this now isn’t the right answer. I feel lost and need to find my place again.”
The model discussed being part of the “cancel club” and how lonely that experience had become for her.
“Only a few understand it and it’s impossible to know til you’re in it. And it’s hard to talk about it in that sense because obviously you sound whiney when you’ve clearly done something wrong. It just sucks. There is no winning,” Teigen added. “I’m just tired of being sick with myself all day. I don’t even know if it’s good to say any of this because it’s gonna get brutally picked apart but I dunno. I can’t do this silent s–t anymore!”
The Chrissy’s Court alum originally faced backlash after Stodden, 26, opened up about their history with Teigen.
“She wouldn’t just publicly tweet about wanting me to take ‘a dirt nap’ but would privately DM me and tell me to kill myself. Things like, ‘I can’t wait for you to die,’” the “Pleasure” singer detailed to the Daily Beast in May. “There were a lot of celebrities acting like playground bullies. They have not sought to apologize or sent any kind of love my way.”
Two days later, Teigen publicly apologized for her past messages to Stodden.
“Not a lot of people are lucky enough to be held accountable for all their past bulls–t in front of the entire world. I’m mortified and sad at who I used to be. I was an insecure, attention seeking troll. I am ashamed and completely embarrassed at my behavior but that is nothing compared to how I made Courtney feel,” she tweeted at the time.
The Lip Sync Battle host later offered a longer message about her time on the internet and the regrets she had.
“Not a day, not a single moment has passed where I haven’t felt the crushing weight of regret for the things I’ve said in the past,” she wrote via Medium in June. “There is simply no excuse for my past horrible tweets. My targets didn’t deserve them. No one does. Many of them needed empathy, kindness, understanding and support, not my meanness masquerading as a kind of casual, edgy humor.”