Dean McDermott Admits ‘Monogamy Is Hard’ After 13 Years of Marriage to Tori Spelling


Getting real. Dean McDermott opened up about the struggles of staying monogamous in an exclusive interview with Us Weekly on Tuesday, October 29.

“Monogamy is hard for, I guess, several reasons — for wanting that initial lust that we have intrinsically built into us,” the former Chopped Canada host, 52, told Us. “Men, we’re like, we need to spread our seed everywhere. It’s [been] in our DNA for millions and millions of years. There’s that, but then there’s also, ‘Oh, God. This relationship is work.’ And it is. Every relationship is work and when you get to that point, you can’t bail. You’ve gotta knuckle under and work it out.”

McDermott’s wife, Tori Spelling, got candid about the difficulties of monogamy on his podcast “Daddy Issues” in June.

Dean McDermott 13 Years of Marriage to Tori Spelling
Tori Spelling and Dean McDermott attend the Fox Winter All-Star Party, TCA Winter Press Tour, on February 6, 2019 in Los Angeles, California. Broadimage/Shutterstock

“The reality is you’re two people. I feel like humans, instinctually, it’s really hard to be monogamous because you’re always changing,” the BH90210 star, 46, said at the time. “And if you’re not on the same page, you have to try to change again, and evolve and be on the same page.”

McDermott told Us that dealing with marital issues “under a microscope” can make things even harder. The couple let the world into their private lives during their reality TV series, True Tori, in 2014.

“We’ve been doing this for a long time now. You know, 15 years for me, and Tori’s been under the microscope since she was a kid,” he said. “I’ve gotten to the point where Tori’s at now, where you just ignore it and you have really thick skin about it, because it really will eat you up.”

He added, “And when you are under the microscope and something comes out you think everybody walking in the street thinks the same thing. You feel like, ‘Oh my God, everybody knows what’s going on. Everybody knows how I’m feeling.’ It can drive you crazy. ”

While True Tori chronicled the ups and downs of their marriage, McDermott told Us he thinks people weren’t ready to see a couple be so honest about their issues.

“When we did True Tori, that was one of our hopes — that it would help others. It certainly helped us, because it got us into therapy a lot quicker and sped up the process of dealing with this, because we were doing a show around it,” he said. “It did help people, but I think it was a little too before its time. I don’t think people were ready for that kind of reality. … It was really raw and we were really vulnerable.”

McDermott and Spelling tied the knot in 2006. They share five kids, Liam, 12, Stella, 11, Hattie, 8, Finn, 7, and Beau, 2. The couple have had their fair share of marriage problems over the years. In December 2013, Us broke the news that the Slasher star had cheated on Spelling. McDermott entered treatment for sex addiction one month later.

While speaking with Us, McDermott also gave some advice to Jana Kramer and Mike Caussin, who have been facing their own marital issues. The actor said he is “hoping that for this couple, things have changed” since True Tori was on the air. He added that he hoped people “are a little more open” to hearing about “the trials and tribulations” that they’re going through.

In 2016, Us broke the news that Caussin, 32, had cheated on the country singer, 35, with multiple women. Caussin also sought treatment for sex addiction. The couple, who share daughter Jolie, 3, and son Jace, 11 months, separated but reunited the following year. On the pair’s podcast “Whine Down,” Kramer revealed that the former Washington Redskins player had suffered a “massive” sex addiction relapse in 2018.

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