Niecy Nash tearfully discussed her divorce from Jay Tucker during a speech at Essence’s Black Women in Hollywood lunch on Thursday, February 6, according to New York Post’s Page Six.
“There was a huge myth that I inherited from the women in my family, which is, ‘You are nothing without a man. Get one, keep one, no matter what — blind, cripple, crazy, married or lazy — get one, baby girl, because they will validate you,’” Nash, 49, told the crowd as she wiped tears from her eyes.
The When They See Us star filed for divorce in December 2019 following eight years of marriage to the business development manager.
“When I owned we were better friends than life partners, my family was quick to say, ‘But you all look so good together,’ [and] ‘Well, if the man ain’t beating you, what you leaving for?’” she said on Thursday. “The one that made me laugh the most was an ode to him being attractive. [They said] ‘Well, you never had to put a sack on his head to sleep with him.’”
She went on: “I replied, ‘What about my happiness?’ The untethering from my family’s beliefs, the internet’s expectations and my marriage ending caused me so much pain.”
Nash and Tucker told fans about their breakup in a joint statement posted to the Claws actress’ Instagram account in October 2019. “Our truth is that in this season of our lives, we are better friends than partners in marriage,” they wrote. “Our union was such a gorgeous ride. And as we go our separate ways now, we feel fortunate for the love we share — present tense.”
On Thursday, Nash emphasized the importance of facing the truth. “Pain is putting things in necessary order,” she said. “You’ve got to acknowledge how you feel. Trust that it is so much easier to walk in your shoes than it is run towards a lie. … This long line of women that I come from had never been taught what choosing themselves looks like. You’ve got to own the part you play. I encourage you to walk in your truth, live your trauma and live your best damn life.”
The Emmy nominee also referenced her daughters, Dia and Donielle, whom she shares with her first husband, Don Nash, along with son Dominic. “I am the most grateful because I now know myself much better than before,” she told the audience. “I let my daughters watch me walk through the whole thing. Because I want them to get up every single day and choose themselves. I realize I did right when my daughter said to me, ‘I am so proud of you, and I want to be just like you when I grow up.’ [My] generational curse is broken!”
