Tom Sandoval is facing those narcissist accusations head-on by taking a test courtesy of Dr. Drew Pinsky.
During the Thursday, October 26, episode of his “Everybody Loves Tom” podcast, Sandoval, 41, dug deep in a conversation with Pinsky, 65, about everything from his parents’ divorce to his recurring sexual insecurities. Pinsky even had Sandoval take a test to determine whether the reality star is a narcissist.
“You took the narcissism test. You are not measurably narcissistic. It is a test for narcissistic traits. It is not a way of diagnosing a disorder but it is a way of showing traits,” Pinsky shared. “You actually scored very low.”
Sandoval’s results admittedly surprised Pinsky, who added, “The only thing you were slightly up on was vanity. That is a reasonable measurement of something you’re interested in because of your appearance. It is not good or bad, it is just a trait.”
According to Pinsky, the average score on the test is in the 15 or 16 range. “You were a 7,” he told Sandoval. “You are actually one of the lower ones that I’ve seen, which is interesting.”
Sandoval said that he wasn’t expecting to be deemed a narcissist.
“I knew because I had been around people with narcissistic traits — they are on our show — so I know what it is like. I just know that I am not those people,” the Bravo star, who was joined by costar Tom Schwartz on the podcast, added while referring to their cast members.
Pinsky subsequently pointed out “codependent” Sandoval seems after their candid conversation.
“I think you are more on the codependent side and less on the narcissistic side. Codependency is a construct, it is not a diagnosis,” he explained. “It is a situation where it is hard to assert yourself. You are not great at boundaries and when you see people in pain, you have to make it stop.”
Pinsky continued: “You feel like you have to make it stop because you feel like an empathic person but underneath it is your own pain being mobilized that you have to make stop. You have to distinguish your pain from other people’s pain.”
Sandoval has been examining his behavior since his affair with Raquel Leviss led to the end of his nine-year relationship with Ariana Madix in March.
The Schwartz & Sandy’s cofounder was shocked by the public backlash at the time. “This whole situation, obviously I’ve never experienced anything like it in my life,” he said during an April episode of the “Howie Mandel Does Stuff” podcast. “It’s just crazy how big this story has gotten.”
In the aftermath, Sandoval and Leviss, 29, decided to part ways instead of pursuing a relationship. Sandoval has used his personal life imploding as a way to approach dating differently.
“I have had to be very, very vocal about that to people that I am dating. I am currently dating and I have to warn them that sometimes I am very honest and open and a very loving person,” Sandoval detailed on Thursday. “So I like to be friends and connect but I have to warn people to keep things from getting too attached too quickly. I need to take time to not get into a serious relationship again.”
Schwartz, 41, meanwhile, joined in later in the episode to discuss how he felt “lightly” codependent too.
“Maybe it is the Minnesota nice thing but I am maybe borderline detrimental sometimes to [how I affect other people],” he told Pinsky. “I don’t want to pump myself up here but I am very, very considerate of people’s feelings and how they may react to what I am saying. Which isn’t always the best for reality TV.”
The Winter House star applauded Sandoval for being an “advocate for mental health,” adding, “I don’t think I am above it but my therapy is snowboarding, my dogs and maybe the occasional beer. Maybe vacationing, traveling [and] going exploring new culture and new food.”
