Realer than ever. Selena Gomez opened up about her mental and physical health battles in the trailer for her upcoming documentary, My Mind & Me.
“I am grateful to be alive,” the “Wolves” singer, 30, says in the video, which dropped on Monday, October 10. “Let me make a promise. I am going to stop living like this. How do I learn how to breathe my own breath again?”
The Apple TV+ film, directed by Alek Keshishian, chronicles the past six years of Gomez’s life after her August 2016 announcement that she was stepping back from public life following her lupus diagnosis.
“As many of you know, around a year ago I revealed that I have lupus, an illness that can affect people in different ways,” the former Disney star told Us Weekly in a statement at the time. “I’ve discovered that anxiety, panic attacks and depression can be side effects of lupus, which can present their own challenges. I want to be proactive and focus on maintaining my health and happiness and have decided that the best way forward is to take some time off.”
In the trailer, the “Same Old Love” songstress reflects on the pressure that came with becoming a celebrity at such a young age. While she became a star after landing the lead role in Disney’s Wizards of Waverly Place, she started acting when she was just 10, appearing on Barney & Friends.
“My whole life since I was a kid I’ve been working,” the Only Murders in the Building star says at one point. “And I don’t wanna be, like, super famous. But I do know that if I’m here I have to use that for good.”
The teaser also features a snippet of Gomez’s new song, also titled “My Mind & Me.” The portion heard in the video includes the lyrics: “My mind and me, we don’t get along sometimes / And it gets hard to breathe, but I wouldn’t change my life.”
Despite her difficulties over the past few years, the “Lose You to Love Me” artist says that she’s in a better place now. “I am happier and I’m in control of my emotions and thoughts more than I have ever been,” she says at one point.
The Texas native has been vocal in the past about her health struggles, both mental and physical. In 2017, she revealed that she underwent a kidney transplant, with her friend Francia Raísa donating her organ. “She gave me the ultimate gift and sacrifice by donating her kidney to me,” Gomez wrote of the Grown-ish actress, 34, in a September 2017 Instagram post. “I am incredibly blessed. I love you so much sis.”
In April 2020, the Rare Beauty founder revealed that she was diagnosed with bipolar disorder. “Recently I went to one best mental hospitals in the world … And I discussed that after years of going through a lot of different things I realized that I was bipolar,” Gomez explained during an episode of Miley Cyrus‘ “Bright Minded” show on Instagram Live. “When I have more information, it actually helps me, it doesn’t scare me once I know it. … I wanted to know everything about it and it took the fear away.”
My Mind & Me premieres on Apple TV+ Friday, November 4.
