A Timeline of Rooney Mara and Joaquin Phoenix’s Private Romance

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A Timeline of Rooney Mara and Joaquin Phoenix’s Private Romance

Under the radar. Rooney Mara and Joaquin Phoenix have kept their romance relatively private since they were first linked in 2016, but their flame has still burned bright. The Joker star and his fiancée first crossed paths on the set of Spike Jonze’s 2012 flick Her. Looking back on his initial interactions with Mara, who played his ex-wife in the Oscar-winning film, Phoenix admitted to Vanity Fair in October 2019 that he was convinced Mara “despised” him. Eventually, he realized that the Carol star was interested in him but too shy to express it. "She’s the only girl I ever looked up on the internet," Phoenix explained at the time. "We were just friends, email friends. I’d never done that. Never looked up a girl online." [jwplayer qdms9YRr-l3ahXupL] The private pair made their first public appearance as an item in May 2017 at the Cannes Film Festival in France. Four months later, the Gladiator star told the New York Times that he and Mara were living together in the Hollywood Hills. Phoenix gave the publication a glimpse at life inside their home, admitting that the couple likes to spend their days exercising, studying lines and watching true crime documentaries on Netflix. Nearly two years later, Mara sparked rumors of an engagement when she was seen wearing a diamond ring while out and about in Los Angeles. The photos came shortly after an insider told Us Weekly that the pair had no plans on tying the knot any time soon. "They’re never going to get married because they think marriage is too mainstream," the source said in July 2018, even though they were "so in love" and supported each other's lifestyle choices. "Joaquin transforms all his girlfriends into being holistic, vegan, spiritual and into saving the world." Despite their apparent disinterest in the institution of marriage, Us confirmed in July 2019 that Phoenix had gotten down on one knee. Since their engagement news made headlines, Mara has stood happily by her soon-to-be husband's side through film premieres, political rallies and awards seasons. Scroll down to take a closer look at Mara and Phoenix's private romance! [podcast_block]

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June 2012

Phoenix and Mara first collaborated on Jonze’s Oscar-winning movie Her in 2012. The Walk the Line star later revealed that he thought his now-fiancée "despised" him while they were working together.

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October 2016

Four years after the success of Her, the duo teamed up again for IFC Films’ Mary Magdalene. Though they sparked relationship rumors at the time, W magazine reported that they were "just friends" while filming the movie and didn’t start dating until afterward.

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May 2017

The pair stepped out for the first time as a couple at the 70th annual Cannes Film Festival in France. At the time, neither actor had commented on the status of their relationship — but their cozy conversations at the festival proved that they were more than just friends.

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September 2017

Phoenix revealed to the New York Times that he and the Social Network star had moved in together. The couple spend their time in the Hollywood Hills "answering emails" or "meditating," or even binge-watching true crime documentaries on Netflix. A source later told Us that the Signs star and Mara were "in their own bubble." 

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July 2018

A separate insider told Us that the pair, who finally confirmed their relationship in 2017, had no plans to get married even though they’re “so in love.” Phoenix and Mara were “never going to get married because they think marriage is too mainstream,” but were on the same page when it came to their lifestyle and diet choices.

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May 2019

Less than one year after the source alleged that the couple never wanted to walk down the aisle, the Lion actress sparked engagement rumors when she was spotted with a diamond ring on her left hand while running errands in Los Angeles.

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July 2019

Us confirmed that Phoenix had popped the question just two months after his fiancée was seen sporting her new bling.

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September 2019

While accepting the TIFF Tribute Actor Award, Phoenix gave a rare public showing of affection to his longtime love. "Somewhere here, I don’t know where, is a filthy dragon, and I want to rip its wings off and fasten a blanket and sleep with it forever," Phoenix said, referring to Mara’s role in The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo. "I love you. Thank you."

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September 2019

The engaged couple made a sweet appearance at the Hollywood premiere of Phoenix’s critically-acclaimed film Joker. Though they arrived separately, the pair was seen embracing on the green carpet before the big event.

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October 2019

"She’s the only girl I ever looked up on the internet," Phoenix explained to Vanity Fair after joking that he thought his soon-to-be wife wasn’t his biggest fan when they first met. "We were just friends, email friends. I’d never done that. Never looked up a girl online."

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January 2020

As Phoenix took the stage to accept the Golden Golbe for Best Performance by an Actor in a Motion Picture – Drama for his titular role in Joker, he looked over to the Nightmare on Elm Street actress and whispered a tender, "I love you," before wiping away tears.

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February 2020

The political pair joined Jane Fonda at one of her Fire Drill Friday rallies in Washington D.C. to raise awareness about the climate change crisis impacting communities around the globe. Joaquin, Rooney and Kate [Mara] all wore matching black sweatshirts,” a source told Us at the time. "Joaquin went up on stage and Rooney and Kate held hands as they followed behind him. Joaquin held Rooney in front of him with his arms around her as they stood on the podium with the other celebrities, and Joaquin held Rooney’s arm as she led him back down into the crowd. They looked protective and loving of one another."

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September 2020

On September 27, filmmaker Viktor Kossakovsky revealed that the duo had welcomed their child. "He just got a baby, by the way, his name was … a beautiful son called River, so he cannot promote [Gunda] now," Kossakovsky said, explaining why the Joker star was absent from the Zurich Film Festival. River is the name of Joaquin's late brother, who starred in Stand by Me. He died in 1993.

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November 2021

The vegan couple encouraged people to not eat turkey on Thanksgiving after visiting Farm Sanctuary in Acton, California. They took sweet snaps while cuddling with the birds to promote the sanctuary's symbolic turkey adoption project.

“Turkeys are emotional, intelligent and social animals. It’s chilling that more than 68 million turkeys will be brutally slaughtered and eaten during the holiday months alone," Phoenix and Mara said in a joint statement. “By adopting a turkey through Farm Sanctuary’s Adopt a Turkey Project, you are not only supporting the rescue of animals caught in the brutal factory farming industry, but you are also protesting animal agriculture’s immoral treatment of worker, and its dominating role in accelerating the climate crisis."

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March 2022

A secret wedding? Phoenix sparked marriage rumors when he referred to Mara as his "wife" in an interview with Hello! magazine while talking about how the actress is "always right."

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October 2022

News broke that Mara and Phoenix are set to star opposite each other in the movie The Island, which is loosely based on a 1930s couple who decide to move to a remote island and "live off the land," per Variety.

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January 2023

The Women Talking actress gushed about parenting River on her "LaunchLeft" podcast. "I love it. I love it so much. I think it's the best thing in the world," she shared while noting that motherhood is still "challenging" even while living a self-proclaimed "privileged life." She also explained how the couple's son is growing up in a "creative" atmosphere.

"It doesn't feel like a two-actor house because I didn't work for the first three and a half years we were together," Mara explained of her romance with Phoenix. "Basically since we've been together, I only worked one or two times and one was really small and short. It feels like a creative household, we're constantly talking about creative things."