If there's one thing we learned about The Real Housewives of New York City, it's that they like to have quiet, civil dinner parties — oh, wait. This week picked up in the midst of Dorinda Medley's meltdown over whether or not it’s okay to drop F-bombs.
After she stormed off, Heather Thomson trailed after her — but when Ramona Singer tried to usurp the role of comforter, Heather struck back. Ramona tried to follow the twosome into a bathroom, but aborted the mission when Heather insisted she go. Ultimately, Dorinda seemed to get over it and everyone ended the meal with hugs, though Heather did later admit to the camera that she wanted to "flush Ramona down the toilet."
Once dinner ended, Heather and Carole Radziwill decided to head home, but the rest of the gang (err, ladies) went dancing. All was well until the next morning, when Heather and Carole discovered a naked man sleeping on a bed in their room. To put it lightly, they were not too happy about that.
They promptly ran downstairs and accosted Dorinda (who genuinely seemed to know nothing), followed by Ramona (who "punted" them to LuAnn De Lesseps, even though it turned out that he was actually “her” guy). By the time they got to LuAnn, Heather was in the midst of a tearful meltdown.
"You're going to start crying because a guy slept upstairs?" LuAnn asked Heather.
"It scared me, LuAnn! There was a stranger sleeping in my bed!" Heather shot back. That prompted LuAnn to tell her, "Don't be uncool" again and again. Carole jumped to Heather's defense, though, telling the Countess that letting the guy spend the night was, in fact, not cool.
"She's new to this okay?” Sonja Morgan explained to the group of Ramona abandoning the guy the night before. “You don't leave the guy up there, that's all. She just needed to see him out or you stay with him.”
Everyone had pretty much calmed down when Kristen Taekman entered with the news that the guy she was sucking face with by the pool all night was reportedly married. Oops. LuAnn laughed it off (maybe not wanting to be "uncool").
Someone Missed Her Nap
Back in the snowy states, Carole met Bethenny Frankel to catch her up on what she missed during the last 24 hours in Turks and Caicos. She revealed that she and Heather still aren't really speaking to Ramona because they're still upset about the naked man she left hanging out unsupervised in their house. (Apparently, they figured out he wasn’t “LuAnn’s guy” after all, and redirected their anger accordingly.)
Then Dorinda showed up (late, Bethenny noted) and blamed drinking since 10 a.m. for her outburst at dinner over the use of curse words. Dorinda then revealed that she takes a nap, every single day, for 45 minutes—and if she doesn't get it, she gets very "cranky." Seems like in addition to way too much booze, she may not have gotten her shuteye in Turks.
Working Out, Housewives Style
Carole, Kristen, and Heather met up to work out with some guy wearing a shirt that said "Ninj" — well, technically Carole didn’t work out much.
"I'm very outspoken against any form of exercise. Everyone I know that exercises, they're always complaining their back hurts, their knee hurts, their hip hurts — it's like, 'Nothing hurts! I'm good!'" she chirped to the camera.
As they worked out (i.e. laid around in their athleisure wear), the topic turned back to Dorinda.
"I'm not mad at her reaction to me, but you said she did it to you," Heather said to Kristen. "I think Dorinda's life is a little out of balance. Hannah and John is a triangle with her and she was still mourning Richard and she's still trying to find her place. I think genuinely she's not happy. The anger comes from somewhere."
Carole then broke the news to Kristen that Bethenny was bent out of shape that she went on the record saying somethings about the Skinnygirl mogul that may or may not have been flattering, depending on one's interpretation.
Denim and Diamonds
Kristen's denim and diamond event kicked off smoothly enough. All of the women got down to business blinging out jeans for charity. But just moments after sitting down to get their arts and crafts on, LuAnn announced that she was still mad about what happened with the mysterious naked man. (Seriously, who was this guy?!)
"I don't know how long I can sit here and pretend I'm not mad," LuAnn quipped.
That prompted Bethenny to chime in, "We're the same person." She then turned to Kristen, "Don't talk about me in the press. I have enemies doing that every day." She went on to say that Kristen "especially" shouldn't do that if she wanted to be friends.
"Who said I wanted to be your friend at this point?" Kristen shot back. After some more bickering, she eventually backed down, admitting she shouldn't have said anything to the press and they seemed to make up.
The Naked Man Strikes Again (Sort of)
Next up was LuAnn vs. Heather. "Why would you burst into my room?" LuAnn asked the Yummy purveyor. "You basically bust down my door! You didn't knock!"
Carole was then called over to get the facts straight — followed by Ramona. For her part, Heather kept insisting that there was a naked man "in her room," but Dorinda wasn't buying it.
"There was no naked man in Heather's room. There was a bathroom separating them. It wasn't like he was wandering the halls naked, offending people with his, whatever," Dorinda explained to the camera.
Before it was over, each woman had gotten involved (except Bethenny, who had blissfully slipped out earlier), and while Heather and LuAnn did hug it out, they didn't seem to actually bury the hatchet.
The episode ended the same way it began — with Dorinda and Heather fighting. And just like that, the world made sense again.
Tell Us: Was Heather “uncool” to cry about the naked man in her and Carole’s room?
Sign up now for the Us Weekly newsletter to get breaking celebrity news, hot pics and more delivered straight to your inbox!