Going back before she moves forward for good. Rachel Lindsay gets candid about her time as the Bachelorette in her new book, Miss Me With That: Hot Takes, Helpful Tidbits, and a Few Hard Truths.
“I wanted to write the book because my life has changed so much, and so much of what I was doing was dictated by fear,” Lindsay told the University of Texas at Austin’s The Alcalde magazine earlier this month, describing the book as writing to herself in her 20s. “And being treated as the country’s most eligible Bachelorette — there’s a level of perfection that’s attached to you. And we are so far from that. So, I almost wanted to break myself down from that image.”
Bachelor Nation met the Texas-based attorney on season 21 of The Bachelor. She was named the season 13 Bachelorette — and the first Black Bachelorette — while Nick Viall’s season of the ABC series was still airing in 2017. Lindsay knows some readers are going to pick up Miss Me With That solely for Bachelor information. However, she warns in the first essay: “When I share anything about the show that I haven’t disclosed before (and we can all agree I have had tons to say), my intention isn’t to spill the tea. … Just understand that my intention is not to gossip about or hurt your favorites. If anything, I expose no one more than myself.”
Still, there is plenty to unpack from behind-the-scenes nuggets about production — she and Viall filmed their first kiss more than once — and a breakdown of her connections with her Bachelorette finalists: winner (and now-husband) Bryan Abasolo, runner-up Peter Kraus and second runner-up Eric Bigger.
She told the Alcalde, however, that her favorite essay tackles mental health.
“And it’s probably my favorite in the book because I talk about how I got into therapy and why. It’s interesting in the journey I go through, and the stigma in the community when it comes to Black people … you’re supposed to pray your problems away,” she said. “I struggled with religion versus therapy, but that is what has kept me grounded. That is what’s kept me sane. Meditating, yoga, just taking a break.”
Lindsay wrote about how she insisted she saw a therapist throughout her time on The Bachelor and The Bachelorette despite passing the psychological evaluation.
“The show doesn’t like contestants going to therapy. (Save those emotional outbursts for the camera, please and thank you),” she wrote. “The producers prefer to have complete control over your actions and access to your conversations, but they cannot mic you during a session because they are required to honor privacy.”
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Miss Me With That is available now. Scroll through for the biggest revelations about Bachelor Nation: