It’s not an easy game. The Challenge: Spies, Lies and Allies star Amber Borzotra has been through her fair share of drama during her second season — and it hasn’t been easy.
Soon after joining the season, the season 36 winner, 33, was blindsided by Fessy Shafaat, who she thought she could trust — a betrayal that has been tough for her to move past.
“It’s a game, but it hurt. These are people that I want to see go far, these are people that I want to do what I can to help go far in the game,” Amber said on the Thursday, September 16, episode of the “Watch With Us” podcast, referencing the broken Big Brother alliance this season. “It didn’t seem like we were on the same page the previous season. … Going into this season, I wanted to know and I wanted some reassurance.”
She went on to explain that she was upset by Fessy’s blindside because they had spoken beforehand — and she wanted an apology.
“I trusted these people more than anyone in the game and I am naive,” the Big Brother alum told Us. “I believe everyone and I trust everyone with their word. … Outside of this game, I check on these people. I make sure they’re good. I want to see them win, too. For me, it was just hard. Even the episodes that have been shown now, it’s kind of difficult seeing things that are being said.”
During the podcast, Amber couldn’t help but get emotional, noting that she learned a lot after watching her first season and seeing how much people were talking about her behind her back.
“The Challenge has really taught me a lot about me,” the esthetician said, noting that sometimes she considers not watching back the episodes. “What’s hard for me is I’m 100 percent myself, just like how I would be outside of the game. That’s the hard part for me, being around people that I feel are my friends.”
She continued through tears, “It’s hard to watch, especially when you see these people as your friends outside of the game. It’s hard because I don’t deal with this in my everyday life. … I really try being a good person, It’s hard to watch and it’s sometimes hard for my parents and my family. They get emotional. I’m like, ‘Mom, Dad, it’s OK!'”
The Wednesday, September 15, episode ended with Fessy, 29, and Amber getting into a heated discussion that began over pizza and led to Fessy shoving Josh Martinez. Somewhere in the middle, Esther Agunbiade got involved — Fessy’s partner who is also in a showmance with Josh — and threw a drink at Amber.
Listen to the full podcast episode for Amber’s reaction to the drink, where they stand now, this season’s showmances and more.
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The Challenge airs on MTV Wednesdays at 8 p.m. ET.