Real talk. Jade Roper opened up about her battle with depression after giving birth to son Brooks in July 2019.
“Some days I really struggle with what content to share on here,” she wrote via Instagram on Monday, January 18, as she shared a photo of herself cuddling with two of her little ones.
The Bachelor in Paradise alum, who shares Emerson, 3, Brooks, 17 months and Reed, 2 months, with husband, Tanner Tolbert, wrote that “someone messaged me yesterday saying that they were going to unfollow me because of all my complaining about motherhood since Reed was born, and that I need to be the person I was when it was just Emmy and Brooks.”
“Fact is, I was fighting a dark depression for the first six months after Brooks was born and no one would have known it,” the reality star explained. “And fact is, I’m not that perceived person they spoke of anymore.”
Roper pointed out that with every birth there is a new “version of ourselves [that] we are getting to know as well” and each child is different.
“I’m fumbling through, learning as I go and leaning in as I get to know my baby and the new versions of my children and husband as they evolve and adapt and grow as well,” she wrote. “I guess I share the imperfect moments in hopes of reaching across a social platform and sparking a human connection.”
The Colorado native noted that she shares her personal moments on social media for a variety of reasons.
“[I speak to] anyone out there hanging on by a thread, needing to know they are loved and not failing, and, honestly for myself when I’m needing to hear a kind voice speak my truths to me,” she continued. “To remind me on the days where I can’t find the light, that it’s still there. I want people to know you can carry both joy and grief together.”
The TV personality added that “we can feel madly in love with our children, but also like we are carrying broken pieces of ourselves around. That you can wake up at 7 a.m. with gratitude in your heart and still be crying by 8 a.m.”
She explained that it’s “OK to not be OK” some days and “it’s enough if all you did today for yourself was to simply get out of bed and nourish your body.”
Roper revealed that she is going to keep posting photos of herself on her good and bad days with “the hair grease, the under eye bags, the unclothed children, the sleep deprivation, and perhaps the little bit of sadness behind the eyes, because none of us have it all together all the time, especially during this pandemic.”
The Naturally Jade Cosmetics creator added: “I can’t be a highlight reel. Pretty days, awful days and days in between simply exist. If you continue to follow me, I hope it gives you a big deep breath of air, one that exhales all the way out of your chest. That breath that speaks permission you are okay to be here, just the way you are in this moment, no judgment, just simply being. Hugs, Jade❤️.”
“On a scale, I’d lean toward 75 percent wanting another where Tanner would probably say there’s a 25 percent chance,” she revealed during an Instagram Q&A earlier this month. “So many factors going into whether or not we’d have a fourth though.”