Keeping his memory alive. General Hospital alum Kristina Wagner reflected on her grief while celebrating late son Harrison Wagner‘s birthday.
“Sometimes I feel like a pinned butterfly. There’s no second chance. There’s no see-him-again. There’s no nothing. He’s not coming back. It’s final. But life goes on,” the soap star, 60, wrote via Instagram on Thursday, December 1, alongside a video Harrison dancing and goofing around at a shopping center. “How do I spend the rest of my own without Harrison in it? What does it mean to be “all right” after the death of your child, your blood? The pain will never go away.”
Kristina added that the pain was especially difficult on what would have been his 28th birthday. “I had the privilege to know him for 27 incredible years,” the Hotel alum continued, describing Harrison as “larger than life” with “vulnerability and compassion” under the surface. “He understood his own defects and worked hard to turn them around, to strengthen his positive attributes. He was a good listener and stood up for others when they couldn’t speak for themselves. He is missed.”
She concluded her post with a note to other parents grieving the loss of their children: “May you find peace. Let’s stick around and see what’s in store for our extraordinary lives.”
Kristina shared Harrison — who was found dead in June after a lengthy battle with addiction — and son Peter, 31, with ex-husband Jack Wagner. The pair split in 2006 after 13 years of marriage. The When Calls the Heart actor, 62, is also father to daughter Kerry, 34, from a past relationship.
The Wagners have long been open about their youngest son’s struggles with substance abuse, with Jack revealing in July 2016 that Harrison had gone missing for several days. “I’m going to ask those who want to share their fears, addictions & struggles to do so w me via Twitter. We can face them 2gether, I’ll start,” the Melrose Place alum wrote via Twitter at the time. “I fear for my youngest sons safety. Harrison has struggled w drugs & alcohol just as I did when I was younger. He’s relapsed & is MIA 5 days.”
Jack revealed a few days later that his son reached out after the scare. “Harrisons been in touch, he’s 21 & in charge of his life, ty for the lv & prayers, please continue to share your struggles, it helps us all,” the Bold and the Beautiful actor shared via social media.
In recent years, Harrison spoke about his desire to turn his life around. “Life is a roller coaster. It is all transformation and how we grow as humans to have the power and willingness to make a change …. And remember, no matter what the past says about u or what you did there’s ALWAYSSS room for forgiveness as long as u are willing to forgive YOURSELF,” he wrote in September 2021, alongside a photo of an open road. “It is NEVER TO LATE TO MAKE A CHANGE IN ONES LIFE Let alone, if u are struggling believe me… I’ve been there. But we come out on the other seeing the world through a different Lens ❤️☀️.”
Kristina and Jack established a scholarship fund in his honor at New Life House Recovery Community, which is a sober living facility for men. “Harrison was a bright, exuberant young man whose smile lit up any room he was in. He has left behind many men and family members who loved him deeply,” the New Life House website states. “We are heartbroken that he ultimately lost his battle with addiction and we hope that Harrison’s memory will live on through this scholarship and will help other young men get help for their addiction that would not otherwise be able to afford it.”
If you or anyone you know is facing substance abuse issues, call the Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration’s National Helpline at 1-800-662-4357 for free and confidential information 24/7.
