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Watch out, Penélope Cruz! Derek Zoolander, the dim-witted model played by Ben Stiller, just fell in love with Cara Delevingne. In a series of hilarious promo images for Zoolander 2, the pair teamed up for a short-lived three-hour relationship while visiting Paris — and Zoolander documented the whole thing on Instagram!
Zoolander and Delevingne, 23, kicked off their relationship on Friday, January 29, by strutting their stuff in front of the Eiffel Tower.
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“EXCLUSIVE: ‘Der-vigne’ are now a ‘thing,’” he wrote. “In the coming months and years, I’ll be live-gramming my relationship. She’s a beautiful girl, not just on the outside. But also on the side side. Like in profile.”
He added, “I just talked to Cara about maybe Eifel Towering later. Uhhhh… Eifel Tower much? #adorbs.”
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After just 60 minutes, Zoolander fell hard for the model.
“Guys. About an hour in and it’s getting pretty real,” he wrote. “This girl Cara totally speaks to me. And then I speak back. And then she says something. Then I do. Then she says stuff again. so many words my head is spinning! I think I might be in love. Shhhh… #putaringonit?”
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Then Stiller’s Zoolander 2 costar Cruz chimed in with an Instagram post of her own. She wrote, “We will talk about this, Derek,” with a pair of angry-face emojis.
The 'Der-vigne' then took their relationship to the next level as they became parents to an adorable dog. At this point, Zoolander decided to propose to his newfound love — but it didn’t go as planned.
“Guys. Did NOT go well,” he captioned a photo of Delevingne arguing with him. “Now she’s acting all, ‘we were never in a relationship’ and ‘why would I ever date you, ew’ and ‘Gross, dude, seriously, we are not in love so stop saying that.’ And I’m all ‘we ARE in love and your clinginess is starting to freak me out! I can’t be in another codependent realtionship! And PS! We have a DOG to raise together” and she’s all ‘You are seriously the stupidest man on the planet. like you have nothing in your head.’ I feel like she was trying to hurt me with the last remark, but last time I checked, my head IS full of something. A heart. Which is now broken.”
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After a brief grieving process, Zoolander shared his final thoughts about Delevingne, calling her “negative” and “too old” for him, before writing, “See you soon, @penelopecruzoficial.”
Cruz, 41, responded, “I forgive you, Derek. I’m here waiting for you… I don’t forgive you, @caradelevingne.”
Zoolander 2 hits theaters Friday, February 12. Watch the trailer for the film, which also stars Owen Wilson, Will Ferrell and Kristin Wiig, and features a cameo by Justin Bieber (below).
